Coaching, mentoring and feeling the fear with Pete Mosley

For over a year and a half I’ve been coaching various members of our community on a one to one basis. I get great joy from working with people one to one and helping them get clarity about the what’s ahead of them and what’s getting in their way. I want to help people create businesses and do work that gives them joy, energy and an income. I want to be the best I can be at that and so having the opportunity to talk to Pete Mosley about coaching and mentoring was an amazing privilege. A speaker at our 2017 Summercamp, Pete leads a portfolio existence. He’s a keen writer contributor to Psychologies Magazine and the Quiet Revolution website. He’s a coach for people who aren’t comfortable with self promotion. And he delivers training and group coaching. He trained as a coach with Barefoot Coaching. In this episode we talk about what coaching means to him, the difference between coaching and mentoring and the hidden hurdles that get in our way.

Excerpts from this episode:

* When building a business not only do you need to consider your value proposition and the problem/solution fit but also the venture/entrepreneur fit.

* People are happy to pay for advice but not so much to get help get clarity about what they should be doing

* The difference with between mentoring and coaching is the direction of flow of creativity and energy. For mentoring the flow is from mentor to mentee while for coaching the flow is from coachee to coach, where the coach is using probing questions.

* Coaching is about championing somebody and helping them engage with what they’re about to do enthusiastically.

* You should only be setting goals for yourself that have meaning, that make sense, play to your strengths and that give you pleasure. Otherwise the chance of you attaining them are pretty low.

* Taking ownership is about being the best informed and best resourced person to make the decision.

* If there’s a mismatch between your values and your goals then you can run aground.

* People adopt structured approaches to coaches because it benefits the business model.

* The most valuable aspect of coaching is the quality of the relationship between coach and coachee, something more subtle than just a business transaction

* Sometimes the rushing towards solutions can be the most damaging thing you can do as it’s the worst possible thing for free thinking

* Human beings aren’t supposed to be time bound or expectations bound

* There’s something very fertile in the chaos * Your definition of success doesn’t have to be like anybody else’s.

* Hiring people that think differently and with diversity of attention

* Authenticity isn’t something that you can claim, it’s something that is bestowed on you by others.

* The thing that most people fear isn’t the situation but the unpleasant sensations and the discomfort they feel.

* These unpleasant feelings and sensations are there to inform us and guide us. We can learn to work with these unpleasant feelings.

You can find Pete on Twitter - @petemosley

He regularly writes articles on LinkedIn and for Psychologies Magazine and he’s the author of the book The Art of Shouting Quietly.