The authenticity dilemma
The idea of "personal branding” can be a bit exhausting. The thought of carefully curating a version of yourself that’s optimised for engagement feels like too much effort if you struggle to be anything other than yourself.
Amanda Baker has been developing a framework to help people navigate their own authenticity, and Carlos will be bringing his own reflections on what it means to market yourself in a way that feels human, joyful, and not like you’re constantly performing.
If you’ve ever wondered how to share your story without feeling like a product – or how to stay visible without losing yourself – this conversation is for you.
Transcript
so tomorrow I'm gonna be doing a fireside actually, and that's what my context is
Speaker:for running these webinars with our Friday fireside, which we turn into a podcast.
Speaker:So I have no idea actually how to introduce this other than tell a story.
Speaker:So I'll tell my story.
Speaker:Oh no, you tell your story.
Speaker:Then I'll tell my story and then we'll see if we have a shared reality around this.
Speaker:Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker:Um, so we went to Ann Law's, uh, book launch, didn't we?
Speaker:Um, and for anyone who doesn't know who Ann Law is, um, she's
Speaker:the incredible author of this.
Speaker:tiny experiments, it's really, really brilliant.
Speaker:It's about how to live freely in a goal, goal, best world, and let's
Speaker:be honest, goals just really make us feel rubbish when we don't meet them
Speaker:and hit them so it's just a beautiful way to live with our curiosity and
Speaker:follow the fields that come curious.
Speaker:So if you haven't heard it, please go and get it.
Speaker:It's gorgeous.
Speaker:So we met them.
Speaker:And I saw Carlos literally from the corner of my arm.
Speaker:I was like, I know that guy.
Speaker:I call and him for ages and I love everything that you stand for, everything
Speaker:that you do with the Happy Startup School.
Speaker:And actually we did meet way, way back, I can't remember, general, general Assembly.
Speaker:Um, you did a whole workshop day for, um, entrepreneurs and stuff.
Speaker:Um, but anyway, that was way back when.
Speaker:Um, and I came over to you and I was like, Hey, hi, I'm Amanda, so great to meet you.
Speaker:Like we were just chatting about, I can't remember, you know, when you just kind of
Speaker:inflow and I just word bombed everywhere.
Speaker:And your posts are, you are exactly how you show up in person.
Speaker:Your words, your language, how you speak, your aura, your your energy was just a
Speaker:true reflection of how you show up online.
Speaker:Um, and that was, it was kind of like a five-ish minute convo, wasn't it?
Speaker:But it was a beautiful moment of true, authentic connection, um, that.
Speaker:Continued in WhatsApp.
Speaker:Oh, on LinkedIn message and in WhatsApp.
Speaker:And then Yeah, you suggested, shall we, shall we come here?
Speaker:And, um, shall we do continue the conversation?
Speaker:And I was like, uh, yeah, let's do it.
Speaker:And then here we're here we're, um, I think that sums up how we met.
Speaker:Cool.
Speaker:I, I'll, I'll
Speaker:share my version of the story and then it's up to the audience to, to
Speaker:then vote who's got the better story.
Speaker:Um, no, So, in terms of my experience with the story.
Speaker:And I told this, actually, this is a bit of the story on LinkedIn.
Speaker:'cause I went to this event not knowing, thinking I was gonna know anyone there
Speaker:because, uh, I, I've met, uh, well, I, I interviewed Ann Law for her book
Speaker:'cause I really, uh, and I'd only discovered her or really got into her
Speaker:work over the past couple of months.
Speaker:Lawrence, my business partner, had been following him, following her for a while,
Speaker:being part of a Nest Lab's community.
Speaker:Uh, but so I, I was stepping into a space that, um, I, I didn't really know.
Speaker:I didn't think I was gonna know many people.
Speaker:And then it was just lovely to meet yourself.
Speaker:but anyway, it was, it was lovely to just meet, just meet people who I hadn't met.
Speaker:In person, but online.
Speaker:And then we got talking and then you said this whole thing about, oh yeah,
Speaker:just, you know, turning up how you are.
Speaker:I, I hadn't really thought about it that way.
Speaker:And, and I think that whole, there's a cognitive speed bump for me about what
Speaker:it means to perform online and do this.
Speaker:And on while on, on a conceptual level, I kind of got it and I see people
Speaker:talking about it, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker:Because I hadn't, I don't know, I've had a very, I haven't really engaged in a lot
Speaker:of social media until the last year or so.
Speaker:'cause I kind of, I dunno, I, I didn't see the value in it.
Speaker:And digging a bit deeper, there is something about showing up
Speaker:as myself and what that meant.
Speaker:I'm really interested in this conversation.
Speaker:But anyway, you start talking about five stories, you start
Speaker:talking about authenticity.
Speaker:Uh, I was really curious about that.
Speaker:'cause I'm like wanting to engage more in a way that just feels less effortful.
Speaker:You know, less, less strategic, but at the same time still wanting to be focused.
Speaker:So I'm just, that's all up in my head at the moment.
Speaker:And you said, oh, let's have a conversation around, let's take it.
Speaker:Say, yeah, that's great.
Speaker:And why don't we just think out loud, and this is kind of, this is my approach
Speaker:to stuff, particularly within the Happy Startup School and the programs we run.
Speaker:It's like, rather than like silo our thinking and it's like, not share
Speaker:it, it's like how can we share stuff early to then engage other people in
Speaker:the conversation and, and to learn and to, yeah, just do this out loud.
Speaker:So this hence this.
Speaker:So hence we're here.
Speaker:yeah, I wanna learn, I wanna learn from you, Amanda.
Speaker:I wanna share some of my thoughts and see how they land and
Speaker:then we'll see where it goes.
Speaker:I mean, I definitely vote your story better than mine.
Speaker:I think I just scratched the surface as you were.
Speaker:Um, so thank you for that.
Speaker:And do you know what?
Speaker:I love this actually because you've reminded me of like the
Speaker:true reason why we're here.
Speaker:We are here too.
Speaker:Feel out loud, think out loud.
Speaker:Think in collaboration with others, with all of these incredible people
Speaker:here who are also feeling it too.
Speaker:You feeling this?
Speaker:I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm assuming feeling the weight and pressure of showing up.
Speaker:Online for ourselves, for our businesses, to put pieces of ourselves out there
Speaker:that are authentic and true to us in our own language, in our own voice, but
Speaker:actually feeling this massive weight and this massive pressure from the
Speaker:algorithm, from all of the perfected content, from all of these staircase,
Speaker:like, you know, space it down there and make sure that it's really simple.
Speaker:Or add some emojis.
Speaker:Just, just the right amount of emojis that sprinkle.
Speaker:Like too many there.
Speaker:Too many there.
Speaker:No, but do you know what I mean?
Speaker:All of this stuff that's just overwhelmed, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker:This is too much.
Speaker:This is too much for humans who are just multifaceted, messy beings who
Speaker:are just trying to figure stuff out.
Speaker:So actually this is a really gorgeous way, I think me and you coming here,
Speaker:showing up today, like no agenda, no real plan apart from one word that
Speaker:we're really curious about authenticity.
Speaker:Oh
Speaker:no, we are gonna sell right at the end of this, aren't we?
Speaker:yeah.
Speaker:Um, yeah, I mean authenticity, right?
Speaker:It's such a, it's a word that I think you and I spoke about brief briefly.
Speaker:I think it's just, I, I think we've, it's not that it's lost its meaning
Speaker:has always been there because I think the meaning of authenticity
Speaker:is something that we give to it.
Speaker:I don't necessarily think that it's something, but I, but I think
Speaker:the problem at the moment is that.
Speaker:Everyone who's kind of shown up and, and banging this authentic
Speaker:drum or, or creating this narrative around authenticity.
Speaker:We we're kind of putting it on like it's an outfit and it's just like, no, but
Speaker:this isn't my version of authenticity.
Speaker:Authenticity is something that belongs to us.
Speaker:It's un is isn't It's innate.
Speaker:It's in us.
Speaker:It's a feeling.
Speaker:I actually think authenticity is about how something feels to us, um, in terms
Speaker:of the content that we're creating, the, the clothes that we're wearing,
Speaker:um, the language that we're using around something that we're trying to describe.
Speaker:'cause of course, like everyone uses different words to form
Speaker:them as a sentence that is gonna make meaning in some way for us.
Speaker:Do you know what I mean?
Speaker:But whether that means something to someone else who's
Speaker:receiving it is different.
Speaker:'cause they have their own context around something.
Speaker:They have their own meaning of something and their own way of
Speaker:communicating or wearing a certain outfit or something like that.
Speaker:So I think it's very much authenticity is all about.
Speaker:I think, and what I'm learning over and over and over as I do my absolute best to
Speaker:try and practice being my absolute self.
Speaker:And part of that practice is me doing this right now and just rambling on.
Speaker:Um, is, is just, I, I think authenticity is the practice of reconnecting
Speaker:back to ourselves when we're like, no, that doesn't feel like me.
Speaker:Um, understanding, okay, why doesn't that feel like me?
Speaker:And doing the work to understand, okay, well what is me then?
Speaker:Um, and I think this is where our stories and our experiences can
Speaker:really come into, um, play here as a, as a tool to help us understand.
Speaker:Um, and then there's that remembering part.
Speaker:So it's the, uh, it's the, it's the reconnect to understand, to remember
Speaker:that actually no, this is me.
Speaker:This is who I am and this is how I'm gonna show up and express myself in the world.
Speaker:Whether that's through, through voice, language, writing, video, um,
Speaker:visual, uh, whatever it is through our business, through our work, how that.
Speaker:Ourself as, as a human, connects to the work that we do and how that all comes
Speaker:together in a, in a, in a gorgeous way.
Speaker:Um, that makes sense for us and our audience too.
Speaker:I, I think it's all about that.
Speaker:It all starts with how does this feel?
Speaker:How does this feel for me?
Speaker:And then once I've nailed that down, then how does this feel for my audience?
Speaker:Does it connect with them too?
Speaker:Because if it doesn't, there's something, there's a disconnect there.
Speaker:But it also has to do that too, right?
Speaker:For it to really ultimately feel authentic and for it to, to, to work
Speaker:in this, in this world of authenticity.
Speaker:what's landing for me is authenticity as a way of being rather than the strategy.
Speaker:Um, and what I'm learning, just even through sort of like talking about
Speaker:this, writing it and seeing the responses that I've been getting.
Speaker:And, and also you shared a post today, which was interesting
Speaker:and I'd like to touch on that.
Speaker:but this idea that.
Speaker:authenticity being a strategy for getting clients.
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:To rise above the noise, we need to be authentic.
Speaker:And even in that post, there's an element of like, yeah, be authentic
Speaker:so you can rise above the noise.
Speaker:So it's really much a channel, a strategy, a pathway to somewhere
Speaker:as opposed to how you turn up.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Can I just offer a build on that?
Speaker:And this is, I was in the tape written yesterday, just walking around,
Speaker:reflecting on authenticity as you do, walking around looking at all the
Speaker:different art, and I'm just like, whoa.
Speaker:Like, first of all, what I noticed.
Speaker:Because I think authenticity is the practice of noticing as well.
Speaker:I think there's a, there's a true, because authenticity is a practice.
Speaker:Brilliant.
Speaker:Brown says that, um, that's her quote.
Speaker:Um, but also what a practice of what, how do you break that down?
Speaker:So I definitely think, um, observing and paying attention
Speaker:is, is one of those things.
Speaker:Oh, sorry.
Speaker:I just bud me, um, I'm walking around the tape Britain and I'm
Speaker:just looking at all of this arc getting sucked in and drawn in.
Speaker:And it's interesting because I'm looking at someone, something, a piece of art, and
Speaker:someone else next to me is looking at it, but we're observing it in a different way.
Speaker:Parts of it are connecting with us in different ways.
Speaker:I might see a face over there and they might see a dog over there
Speaker:in, in the, in the brush strokes.
Speaker:We're seeing things and we are feeling things in different
Speaker:ways because we are different.
Speaker:We, we, we are all humans.
Speaker:Yes, but we are wire differently.
Speaker:Our experiences are different.
Speaker:We share things that are similar.
Speaker:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker:But is it exactly the same?
Speaker:Fuck no.
Speaker:And authenticity.
Speaker:That's why I do truly believe to, to show up and be your most authentic self.
Speaker:You have to have to, it's absolutely, um, vital that you are connected to your
Speaker:stories, and then you can show up and then you can start to draw connections
Speaker:between, okay, why does that pull me in?
Speaker:Why, why does this feel like purposeful to me?
Speaker:Why am I feeling cool to go and do this work and, and, and switch
Speaker:things up in my work right now?
Speaker:Why do I feel like I'm not enjoying what I'm doing anymore?
Speaker:What does that mean?
Speaker:All these feelings, all these emotions, the signals or little,
Speaker:little signs of, okay, actually you are getting closer to yourself.
Speaker:David Wyatt says it, and it's gorgeous.
Speaker:Conversation with Tim Ferris.
Speaker:I'll share the link.
Speaker:Um, whoever wants to hear it.
Speaker:David Weer is a brilliant poet.
Speaker:Um, definitely recommend his poet poem.
Speaker:Everything is waiting for you.
Speaker:Oh my gosh.
Speaker:It just rings your heart like a bell.
Speaker:What rings mine?
Speaker:Um, but he basically says, we're always five steps behind
Speaker:the person we're becoming.
Speaker:And I'm just like, wow.
Speaker:We are, we're always trying to reach that next version of ourselves because
Speaker:we are constantly, every second, every minute of the day, we are evolving
Speaker:and the way we are being told.
Speaker:Authenticity, use authenticity as a strategy for your content, or
Speaker:you are co it's always evolving.
Speaker:It's you, you are constantly changing actually the practice of paying
Speaker:attention to what feels good and what feels real and what, what feels true
Speaker:in this moment with your content, with your work, whatever it is, with,
Speaker:you're just hanging out with your, your partners, your friends or whatever it is.
Speaker:So, so important to pay attention to those fields.
Speaker:Um, pay and, and notice what is coming up for you in these moments, but also.
Speaker:Paying attention to how you are, you are showing up online.
Speaker:And whether that actually feels true and real for you in that moment.
Speaker:Because we are moving, meaning is a moving thing.
Speaker:Authenticity is connected to what means something to us and what
Speaker:means something to our audiences.
Speaker:And we have to keep realigning with how we show up to make
Speaker:sure that we are authentic.
Speaker:'cause it's kind of like that spectrum of, you know, over here we're,
Speaker:this is, this is who we are, really are, and this is how we show up.
Speaker:When that's like that, you know, if, if it's not aligned, it's like who
Speaker:we, who we are is, is, is like here and how we're showing up is here.
Speaker:Like we have to bring it here and there's work to do there.
Speaker:There's the work of being really present in, in our story and in our, in, in, in
Speaker:ourselves, and doing that inner work.
Speaker:You know, journaling, for example, is something that I do.
Speaker:I, you know, have questions that, that I actually pose to myself or
Speaker:I, or I listen and learn from other poets, my books or things like that.
Speaker:And I just join around questions to, to understand, try and understand
Speaker:myself better and whether things are, are true and real for me
Speaker:and right for me in the moment.
Speaker:And then it's like, okay, cool.
Speaker:Actually what I've created or I'm doing right now within my work is feeling good
Speaker:and right for me right now, which means I could show up as my most authentic self.
Speaker:So what I'm taking from that, there's an element of this, which I'm, I'm
Speaker:very curious about and I'm very drawn to is there's a deeper work
Speaker:aspect to this and where I gravitate to these, these tools and these
Speaker:frameworks for more self knowledge.
Speaker:Mm. Because when you talk to how does it feel?
Speaker:Was it like I, if, if anyone's out there like me for a long
Speaker:while, I was disconnected from understanding what that meant to feel.
Speaker:It was like, cognitively, how can I make this viral?
Speaker:Or whatever it is when it came to social media, or how can I get someone to like
Speaker:me so they don't sort of like reject me?
Speaker:But then when it's like, okay, there's a, an aspect of this which
Speaker:is internally like, I like something and I can un and because, and this
Speaker:is where theory of the story is.
Speaker:Why do I like it?
Speaker:So there's the, there's the actual experience of, I like this.
Speaker:And there's that whole gut instinct whether you, you create things from a gut
Speaker:instinct where you create art, whether you create, post whatever it is, there's
Speaker:creating something from a gut instinct and you just dunno how that happens.
Speaker:And then there's actually knowing where that comes from, what,
Speaker:what's that saying about me?
Speaker:What's that?
Speaker:You know, I see that pi of the picture and I look at that bit because I know I
Speaker:have this story around dogs, or I know I have this affinity to that thing.
Speaker:And having that self-inquiry, self knowledge.
Speaker:I think is the deeper work, the harder work, the less uh,
Speaker:welcome work that takes longer.
Speaker:It's a lifetime's work that I think is core to what you're saying in
Speaker:terms of understanding our stories.
Speaker:And there's someone I think on the call called Kieran Morris.
Speaker:He works with the Enneagram, which is a fascinating tool for self
Speaker:knowledge and understanding why we behave and act in a certain ways.
Speaker:'cause a bit of this that I'm really curious about, and we can talk about
Speaker:tactics and strategies in a minute, but this aspect of what a visceral
Speaker:feeling that comes up when either we try to post and we don't, or we post
Speaker:and no one actually replies or we post or someone's and someone says
Speaker:something contrary to what we think.
Speaker:And that, how that stops that sense of being able to turn up in whichever
Speaker:way we want, which for me is the being authentic aspect of this
Speaker:you mentioned earlier, and I'm saying this 'cause I have so been there like
Speaker:last year went to, um, and I think you were there as well, um, the DO lectures
Speaker:event, the Microblogging Systems event.
Speaker:Um, and then there was this, uh, 30 day challenge to post every day.
Speaker:And at that point my baby was only like three, four months old and I'm
Speaker:like trying to find 10 minutes a day to write without her wanting my boob or I
Speaker:dunno what, whatever, you know, just, I'm a new mom, I'm covered in puke.
Speaker:I feel like crap and my brain is just mush.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I really struggled and I just felt like a failure 'cause I didn't keep up
Speaker:with the, the challenge that was set, but hey, that's, that was my shit.
Speaker:Um, anyway, why am I sharing that?
Speaker:Because.
Speaker:I went down this whole like rabbit hole of creating and obsessing over it.
Speaker:It was taking me four hours to create a freaking post for LinkedIn, and then
Speaker:I just overthink it, get stuck in my head, and then I'd post it and it'd get
Speaker:only a couple of likes, and then I'd feel like something's wrong with me.
Speaker:Like, no one likes me.
Speaker:No one, no one, no one cares.
Speaker:Like everyone's judging, like all of this stuff.
Speaker:And I was just getting so stuck in my head about it and then I
Speaker:was like, no, no, I can't do this.
Speaker:This is not good for my health.
Speaker:So not good for my health.
Speaker:And it's also taken my energy and my, and my, my, my good.
Speaker:Like, you know, my, my good vibes away from my baby.
Speaker:Like I can't do that.
Speaker:So I stopped, took it out three months away from, from, from social
Speaker:media and did a lot of writing.
Speaker:Like writing.
Speaker:That wasn't for external contribution.
Speaker:It was just for me, what I learned was when we create for ourselves
Speaker:and it doesn't become an obligation, the joy comes back when we're
Speaker:creating and sharing things.
Speaker:For the purpose of more reach, more likes, more follows, more shares
Speaker:growth, that line that goes up like that, we suck the joy out of it.
Speaker:We literally suck the joy out of it.
Speaker:We suffocate our souls and it is killing creativity, killing it in
Speaker:a creative recession because of it.
Speaker:Like honestly, there is data to prove it.
Speaker:Um, actually heads up, I've got a piece going out on sub sex next
Speaker:week, so I would love your, your thoughts and feels on that one.
Speaker:Um, and there was stuff that I learned last year that has all gone into that.
Speaker:And I think, I think the thing that we need to do is so, so simple.
Speaker:We have to like ourselves, we have to like our work.
Speaker:We have to enjoy it.
Speaker:Fuck everyone else.
Speaker:Honestly, truly, Um, we have to like ourselves, we have to enjoy the
Speaker:work for it to go out there because when that happens, we don't care
Speaker:what, we don't need the validation.
Speaker:We don't need people to say, Hey, this is good because we know it's good.
Speaker:We know it's an inner knowing.
Speaker:And I think that's the work.
Speaker:And I think that is what, when we get into the strategy and the five
Speaker:stories and all that kinda stuff, that's what that is going to do.
Speaker:It's gonna help you be present in your own story, understand not what
Speaker:your bloody unique selling point is.
Speaker:None of that bullshit.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:What your unique point of view is, what your unique point of view, which
Speaker:is connected back to the stories.
Speaker:'cause the stories give the meaning.
Speaker:Not just for you, but for your audience too, and how that connects and how that
Speaker:connects you all together under this.
Speaker:And, and it's about not fast growth, it's about slow, intentional,
Speaker:up close, intimate growth.
Speaker:I feel like a lot of these bots and things, and we should, we just before,
Speaker:like 15, 20 minutes before the call, uh, uh, uh, shared friend of ours, mark Leus,
Speaker:share the post with both of us, right?
Speaker:There's stats about impersonal personal branding and, and how
Speaker:we're in the era of impersonal, um, personal, um, impersonal branding.
Speaker:Sorry, not impersonal, personal branding.
Speaker:That doesn't make sense.
Speaker:And it's true.
Speaker:It is so true.
Speaker:Like everyone looks and sounds the same.
Speaker:No one's got a way of like, everyone's, the voice is just all like this.
Speaker:It's just a, mm.
Speaker:Just met everywhere.
Speaker:It's so boring.
Speaker:It's so exhausting.
Speaker:Like, hello, like W we need to, we need to bring it back.
Speaker:We need to bring it back to us, to ourselves so we can shop
Speaker:for ourselves and each other.
Speaker:That's what we have to do.
Speaker:And the only way we can do that is when we step away from the bullshit
Speaker:and can reconnect with who we are, what is unique to us based on our
Speaker:own personal lived experiences.
Speaker:And then once we feel connected and once we feel that, oh yeah, this is,
Speaker:this is, this is me, this is great.
Speaker:This is exactly what I bring.
Speaker:This is exactly my take on things.
Speaker:This is my unique point of view because I have experiences and
Speaker:stories that I can back it up with.
Speaker:That's when we go back out there.
Speaker:That's what I believe, because I've done it and I've tried it, and now I don't
Speaker:give a shit if I only get four nights because I know that what I post is great.
Speaker:I know, I know it's good stuff.
Speaker:I know it's got substance.
Speaker:I know it's got depth because I have lived it and that's it.
Speaker:What have you lived?
Speaker:You know, show up with your truth.
Speaker:And it sounds so cliche, and it sounds so, oh my gosh.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But how you do that, like reconnecting with your story to go back on a
Speaker:journey back in like an expedition through yourself and through your life.
Speaker:And I'm really hoping that that's what I've been creating and, and
Speaker:building over the last six years of this work with five stories and what
Speaker:I can now hopefully, hopefully offer
Speaker:I, I am on board with everything you said as an inner journey, as a journey of
Speaker:connecting to, to the work you love to do.
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:From my experience of running the Happy Startup School coaching entrepreneurs
Speaker:into this transition of, of tuning into what is it I really want, what I really
Speaker:love, what success means to me, and then how do I turn that into a business?
Speaker:there are are steps to that, that I think you personally can overcome because
Speaker:you have the skills of storytelling.
Speaker:This has been your profession for companies and now for people
Speaker:to be able to communicate.
Speaker:For those who haven't got that skill.
Speaker:But just because you are sharing your authentic real story does not mean
Speaker:people are gonna buy anything from you.
Speaker:Because there's the danger is a spray and pray of like, this is me,
Speaker:this is me, this is my work, this is what I do, this is me, this is me,
Speaker:this is my work, this is what I do.
Speaker:Please like me.
Speaker:Please buy from me.
Speaker:Not even sometimes, not even, please buy from me.
Speaker:It's just, please like me.
Speaker:I'm not gonna ask you to buy from me.
Speaker:'cause I might get rejected.
Speaker:So I'm just gonna just talk about stuff and then I'm gonna talk about
Speaker:stuff and no one's gonna respond.
Speaker:And then I'm gonna feel shit and then I'm go, Hmm
Speaker:mm-hmm.
Speaker:And so there is an element, and this is where I'm fascinated by it.
Speaker:'cause there is a business element of this.
Speaker:There is an element of like, there is you and what you love and there's
Speaker:what you do and how it helps people.
Speaker:And then it's who is it helping?
Speaker:And if we're unclear about who we're helping, then what we say will also,
Speaker:I feel be a bit unclear because you're trying to, well, there's either
Speaker:very specific messages for yourself saying, I know this work is amazing
Speaker:and this is great, you've gotta do it.
Speaker:Or it's just like a generic message that I could work with anyone who
Speaker:wants to get clarity or be more themselves or whatever it is.
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:And I was
Speaker:talking to someone the other day, the thing about that, while it's like
Speaker:our catchall, there's not a lot of safety in it because as a customer
Speaker:it's like, but how do you know me?
Speaker:And, and okay, there is a chance that, okay, your story I connect
Speaker:to and I really get that.
Speaker:It's like the power of that sense of shared values, shared
Speaker:vision, even similar journey.
Speaker:I think that's so impactful.
Speaker:But if that is communicated in a way that doesn't take people on the journey,
Speaker:that doesn't have the structure that you and rigor that you will employ.
Speaker:Because you know how comms work and how communications work and you know that
Speaker:niching and focus and being clear about who you're serving and the challenges
Speaker:that they're facing and the problems they're doing and how to talk about that.
Speaker:And, there are very, there are free platforms out there mm-hmm.
Speaker:That allow us to reach many, many people, but they have their own rules.
Speaker:So we can rail against those rules.
Speaker:Uh, because you can see here, everyone is just trying to do the same thing
Speaker:because the platform, the algorithm, the channel asks you to do these things
Speaker:in order to get your content seen.
Speaker:But if you don't appreciate that and you rail against it, you are
Speaker:gonna have to find another way to reach the people you want.
Speaker:And my final point is like, if you are uniquely bringing something
Speaker:that's very you, then it might be that the other people who are like
Speaker:you, who, who want to see your stuff, they won't see you straight away.
Speaker:You'll either have to hunt for them or work with these platforms
Speaker:to be visible on them, which may mean following some tactics and
Speaker:strategies that don't feel authentic.
Speaker:But at the same time, if you don't, you won't be seen.
Speaker:you're right, we are so, we are slaves to the algorithm we are creating.
Speaker:These platforms have us, this is how my nan would say it in her
Speaker:language, by the short and curies.
Speaker:You know, they, they, they really, they really, really have.
Speaker:And it sucks.
Speaker:It sucks it, I'm gonna say it again.
Speaker:It is a creativity killer.
Speaker:It's a soul.
Speaker:Sucker.
Speaker:Like it's, it's, it's not cool.
Speaker:So we do need to do something different.
Speaker:We need, we need to do, we need to take back our, we need to take back our power
Speaker:because we do have, we do have power to do that, and we do have choices.
Speaker:So here, here are a few things that I'm experimenting with.
Speaker:Taking, drawing some, you know, the language from, and Laura and her
Speaker:incredible book, tiny Experiments on places like Substack, for example.
Speaker:Patreon.
Speaker:Where can we, like, where can we build community that we, that is not dictated
Speaker:by an algorithm that is actually truly created through creativity through.
Speaker:Shared stories, shared through shared beliefs and values and, and through
Speaker:a, a rallying cry that gets everybody hype and pumped and excited about
Speaker:where we're going, AKA vision, that the change we wanna see in the world
Speaker:through our writing, through our conversations like this, through sharing,
Speaker:sharing, sharing questions and, and, and sitting with these questions and
Speaker:these thoughts and ideas and, and just, just the experimental mindset, like
Speaker:where can we, where can we hang out?
Speaker:Uh, because I think that's what it's about.
Speaker:I don't think it's about, you know, people who have.
Speaker:20,000, 50,000, a hundred thousand followers.
Speaker:These people who you are seeing that are getting crazy amounts of
Speaker:engagement on their posts and all of these comments, it's all bullshit.
Speaker:It's all bullshit because it's all part of pods and things like that.
Speaker:And I went through a phase of feeling really crap about it.
Speaker:Like, why this?
Speaker:This content isn't even good.
Speaker:It's so basic.
Speaker:It's so meh.
Speaker:In fact, I saw Zach saying content a few weeks ago, and someone's just
Speaker:repurposed the bloody thing and it's got 72,000, like, what the fuck is going on?
Speaker:We can't control that.
Speaker:That's gonna happen, man.
Speaker:That's gonna happen.
Speaker:You just gotta accept that that is happening, that this is created.
Speaker:Through ai, through bots, through, through just these silly pods of people
Speaker:who actually don't really care about what people, what each other are saying.
Speaker:They don't really connect with their, none of the comments are even authentic
Speaker:because they're just doing it because they're doing it for their own benefit.
Speaker:'cause the more you comment on posts, apparently it's 32 comments
Speaker:you've got to put in a day.
Speaker:32 got, by the way, you build that into, into our already busy time schedules.
Speaker:You've gotta post on 32 people's posts a day to get the algorithm
Speaker:say, oh hey, you are active on here.
Speaker:I'm gonna reward you with more people seeing your post.
Speaker:No, no, thank you.
Speaker:We've got lives to live.
Speaker:We've got real lives to live.
Speaker:So you, there's people that are committed to that way of, of, of building and
Speaker:growing and, and, and, and being visible.
Speaker:And there's people like us, I think, who are like, no,
Speaker:I'm not gonna do it that way.
Speaker:'cause actually what I care about more is myself, my creativity and
Speaker:my audience also deserves better.
Speaker:We all deserve better.
Speaker:We deserve more substance, more depth, more meaning.
Speaker:And I'm gonna go all in on that.
Speaker:And I think that's a bloody good thing.
Speaker:And I honestly, truly, deeply believe I've got a thing that I'm writing
Speaker:about and a moment that I've been writing about for a really long time.
Speaker:'cause hello babies.
Speaker:Um, it's called the meaning making era.
Speaker:We're moving into the meaning making era.
Speaker:It's going from content creators who are burnt out, not just the burnout that
Speaker:we see everywhere online at the moment.
Speaker:Like, you know, which I, I know all of us have experienced in some way,
Speaker:big or small, is this burnout feeling of like your, your brain just feeling
Speaker:foggy and overwhelmed and you're struggling to breathe sometimes
Speaker:and is everything's just too much.
Speaker:And you, you feel like you just wanna lie on the cold floor and
Speaker:just like naked and leave me alone.
Speaker:And, you know, all of that kind of stuff.
Speaker:You just need to switch off.
Speaker:But I'm also talking about the mean, uh, a burnout that no one talks about.
Speaker:It's called meaning burnout.
Speaker:It's that burnout when you have this big fucking question, who am I?
Speaker:Who am I, what am I doing?
Speaker:Why am I here?
Speaker:No one talks about that.
Speaker:And that's meaning, that's, that's the burnout that I wanna talk about more.
Speaker:And I believe that we are about to move into a new era.
Speaker:We have to, we have to, like our humanity with AI came coming into
Speaker:the mix now more and more and more.
Speaker:And trust me, I went to an AI event yesterday and shit is getting real.
Speaker:We have to own our humanity and we have, and then creativity
Speaker:is what it means to be human.
Speaker:So we have to bring that back and, and own it and, and, and,
Speaker:and come back to ourselves.
Speaker:so I liked that you touched on this idea of, uh, meaning.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Um, because I'm assuming meaning means something specific to you.
Speaker:and I've, I learned about, uh, a book called The Map of Meaning and, uh.
Speaker:Key thing that I learned from that was a, uh, when we think about meaning, it
Speaker:can sometimes feel like this massive, huge, horrible thing that is just,
Speaker:just hard to get our heads around.
Speaker:and then the other thing is that we all have essentially different ways
Speaker:to, explain what meaning is to us.
Speaker:And so firstly, I'd like to just, when you talk about meaning, yeah.
Speaker:What, what, what is it you are coming, where are you coming from?
Speaker:Meaning is moving.
Speaker:Meaning is always moving because we're always moving and me what I'm learning.
Speaker:And by the way, everyone, I am no scientist or neuroscience
Speaker:person or anything like that.
Speaker:I'm just someone who's just learning as I go and learning as I speak as well.
Speaker:Um, but what I am learning about meaning is that meaning is, um, it
Speaker:does your right, it means something us on a really deep, um, visceral
Speaker:personal level, but meaning, true meaning can only really come about
Speaker:when you have context around something.
Speaker:Stuff we're seeing.
Speaker:Sorry about that.
Speaker:Um, we're seeing online in terms of, let's talk about in the, in, in the context
Speaker:of, of what context is shown up online.
Speaker:A lot of the stuff you're seeing is very surface level thoughts, opinions
Speaker:that isn't really backed up by a story.
Speaker:For example, an experience and lived experience.
Speaker:The meaning comes from the, the stories.
Speaker:Stories are a way of meaning making.
Speaker:'cause meaning can only come from meaning is about understanding.
Speaker:Meaning is something that happens when, oh, okay, that means something to me.
Speaker:It's when I, it's imagine like you have a cup and, and your cup is empty.
Speaker:Like that's like, that's meaningless.
Speaker:There's nothing in it.
Speaker:There's no substance, there's no context, there's no depth
Speaker:to it, there's nothing in it.
Speaker:But when you start pouring something in, oh, that's got meaning now 'cause
Speaker:oh, it's vimto and I really like Vimto.
Speaker:And actually it takes me back to when I was on holiday in
Speaker:Tan from my nan and Grand.
Speaker:He's gimme Vimto all the time.
Speaker:You know, I mean that's just a, might be a silly example, but I'm just trying
Speaker:to really, um, simplify it, meaning moving, which means, um, it's constantly,
Speaker:um, uh, moving as we move and, and as we change and as we evolve as humans.
Speaker:Um, but meaning can always be found in stories that make us who we are
Speaker:in the stories that have created our.
Speaker:Unique selves.
Speaker:And when we start to understand those stories and unpack them, and
Speaker:with a coach, hi, you then start to put out the ones that really mean
Speaker:something to you in this moment.
Speaker:'cause there's gonna be you, you got, we got shit loads of stories, man.
Speaker:So many stories and many that we have forgotten when we go back and we gone
Speaker:on personal expedition through those stories and we start to reconnect with
Speaker:them and then understand, oh Carlos, you even shared something today about
Speaker:a story from, from, from, from when you were a boy and, and, and the
Speaker:games that, the, what's it called?
Speaker:What did you do?
Speaker:Duns and Dragons.
Speaker:Duns and Dragons.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And then you, you created the, the, the actual games instead of actually
Speaker:playing, um, how I guess everyone else plays and that that's me.
Speaker:And then you connect that back to why you do the work you do today.
Speaker:That's meaning, you know, because you remembered that story and you've started
Speaker:to kind of be present in it again.
Speaker:Remember it.
Speaker:Imagine it and feel yourself in that story, you've then connected it back to,
Speaker:oh, that makes so much sense to who I am and why I care about doing the work
Speaker:that I do today and why I'm doing it.
Speaker:Meaning is when we start to draw connections for ourselves for each other,
Speaker:um, that for me is what meaning is.
Speaker:Um, David Wyatt again?
Speaker:No, not David Wyatt.
Speaker:This actually, this is a really great book.
Speaker:this guy here and I can't pronounce his name.
Speaker:I'm not even Dacher.
Speaker:anyway.
Speaker:Um, meaning, um, is or that feeling of awe, that feeling of wonder, that
Speaker:feeling of, oh my gosh, you know?
Speaker:'cause when you do start to draw connections and thing, things
Speaker:start to mean something to you.
Speaker:It's this, you feel this and this is something that humans can only feel and
Speaker:this is what meaning is all about for me.
Speaker:This,
Speaker:so what I took from that, is we derive meaning from the stories that we tell
Speaker:about our lives and about ourselves.
Speaker:And that is something that we can find, well, that is something that we can mine,
Speaker:I'm gonna say, because it does take, uh, looking back and, and, and collecting,
Speaker:collecting the memories, and then weaving them together into something that, that
Speaker:makes sense, And so we are able to make sense of that journey that got us here.
Speaker:We can then understand why we want to bring other people into our lives.
Speaker:And for a big part of this as well is, I guess there's a more, a, a clearer
Speaker:self-awareness if this storytelling, and this is maybe why you want to help people
Speaker:if that storytelling process is done well.
Speaker:And when I say done well, it isn't just stories to feed our ego, it's stories
Speaker:to actually to deconstruct that ego.
Speaker:you know, ego, it's really, I've always been trying to really
Speaker:understand what is ego man?
Speaker:Why does it keep showing up?
Speaker:It is an ego really is when it's like, no, it's mine.
Speaker:No, that's mine.
Speaker:It's, it's, it's, it belongs to me.
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:It's like, it's something that is, uh, it's an ownership or something
Speaker:that we're just, you know, attached to our identity, but actually beautiful,
Speaker:quiet, I can't remember his name.
Speaker:Um, ego is the resistance of the present moment.
Speaker:resistance.
Speaker:I'm gonna, I'm gonna take a different view on that.
Speaker:I was listening to a podcast today exactly on this idea that we can talk about ego
Speaker:and conflate it with the idea of being egotistic, which is just all about me.
Speaker:But the thing that I appreciate from this podcast was we all have an ego.
Speaker:Our ego is our identity.
Speaker:It is the story that we tell of ourselves.
Speaker:Or the story we tell of who we want to be, who we want to turn up as.
Speaker:And the process that you are talking about, as I believe, is actually
Speaker:testing whether is that ego really true?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And I guess it comes down to, there's a, what's it called?
Speaker:Mortal Diamond, I think the book is called, and also Gary Zoff,
Speaker:yeah, you've got your true self and your false self, I think it is.
Speaker:And I think your ego is all connected to your false self.
Speaker:It's like this is, like, you say who I, who I want to be seen as.
Speaker:This is all of the masks and all of the, all of the, and I'd say
Speaker:the storytelling, you know, the conscious storytelling is still creating an ego.
Speaker:of course, like of course, because also stories we can bend and shape
Speaker:stories to make them work for us, right?
Speaker:Like if we say, you and I have experienced something, which, which we
Speaker:did, we met last week at Amor event.
Speaker:I told a story.
Speaker:You told a story.
Speaker:I missed out loads of parts of the story.
Speaker:But you covered that part.
Speaker:You know, we are gonna, there's always of course, but I think what it comes down
Speaker:to really, when it comes down to, you know, in this, in this, uh, um, concept
Speaker:of, of meaning, it's about, um, really understanding what parts of our story
Speaker:in this very moment as this version of our presence sounds, what parts of
Speaker:our stories mean something to us very profoundly in this moment, but also,
Speaker:means that we can show up as our most authentic selves, but also means that
Speaker:we've also done the work to understand how this story connects to our audience too.
Speaker:Because that's the whole point.
Speaker:It's all good if we're talking again in the context of showing up
Speaker:online and being more authentic.
Speaker:Are more authentic sounds.
Speaker:We need to understand what parts of our story.
Speaker:Yes, it means something to us, but actually brings us
Speaker:closer to our audiences.
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:So we can stronger, more deeper and meaningful connections with them and grow
Speaker:in a more conscious, sustainable way.
Speaker:grow, grow our businesses.
Speaker:Grow, grow our, you know, grow our communities and things like that.
Speaker:And I think meaning is.
Speaker:Me meaning finding our way back to meaning when we feel like we've lost it because
Speaker:we've been so, um, so overwhelmed or so, or told to, to be someone that we're not,
Speaker:or, or, or told to shop in a way that doesn't work for us or feel good for us.
Speaker:Um, connecting back to our stories is, is where, is where we really
Speaker:unpack and find that meaning.
Speaker:But it does take time and that's the thing.
Speaker:I think the other problem is that we're seeing is that everything
Speaker:is so quick, fast, go, go, go.
Speaker:We're still living in this sort of hustle culture, this re fast break things.
Speaker:Even though there's lots of peoples who are actually doing the showing up online
Speaker:every day for, you know, they're, they're subscribed to this way of, um, of, of,
Speaker:of playing to the algorithm pleasing it.
Speaker:They're, they're talking about the hustle culture, but then they're
Speaker:in it, like they're completely going what they're saying because
Speaker:actually they're fucking in it.
Speaker:What, what we're saying here is take this slower, get, get, go slower.
Speaker:Get get up close and personal with yourself.
Speaker:So, so.
Speaker:You can get closer and more intimate with your audience because that
Speaker:is what the future is all about.
Speaker:Now, for us to really take hold and take control of the shit show that's
Speaker:happening in the online world and how we can really serve ourselves, serve
Speaker:our creativity, serve our souls, and also do the same for rather for others.
Speaker:'cause when we are connected to ourselves and when we really truly know
Speaker:and understand ourselves, we also give permission for others to do the same.
Speaker:We have to stop being disembodied.
Speaker:We have to stop doing that because it's not doing any good for
Speaker:ourselves and, and our audiences.
Speaker:Because the more we're showing up in a disembodied way, in a way that is
Speaker:just surface level or actually doesn't hold a lot of meaning because we
Speaker:haven't done the work, we're just doing it because we want it to go viral.
Speaker:The more we keep doing that, the more we're gonna keep saying to
Speaker:everybody, Hey, you gotta do this too.
Speaker:Otherwise, you weren't playing the game.
Speaker:And hey man, you're not gonna, you're not gonna win.
Speaker:Fuck that.
Speaker:No, we gotta, we gotta, we gotta come back to ourselves and we gotta do the work.
Speaker:And it starts with the story.
Speaker:Our stories,
Speaker:and there's a, a part of this for me is To do this with compassion because some of
Speaker:these stories, I think if you do this work well and deeply can feel quite painful.
Speaker:And I, I feel that the, the toxic authenticity that I'm gonna
Speaker:call that happens online mm-hmm.
Speaker:Is because of the hustle that harms because there's no healing
Speaker:that's been taking place.
Speaker:These people haven't spent the time really owning the stories and also probably
Speaker:being triggered by hidden stories that makes them wanna push, makes them, wants
Speaker:to hustle, makes them want to go faster.
Speaker:And then that, as, as I'm hearing from you, then creates an
Speaker:environment where everyone else thinks that they need to hustle.
Speaker:disembodied, I think that's, that's, that's the word.
Speaker:They're like empty shelves.
Speaker:They're just out there doing it and like zombies, you know, just showing hungry
Speaker:ghosts is the phrase that I heard someone Yeah,
Speaker:that, yeah.
Speaker:I like that.
Speaker:Talks about these us us running around trying to fill an empty shell.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It's so interesting, so a few, I think it was the 2021 or 2022,
Speaker:just when they started opening up, um, the airports again.
Speaker:Um, the pandemic.
Speaker:And I went on a Eat, pray, find myself trip to Portugal.
Speaker:I was going through a very tough time, a breakup.
Speaker:I found a breakup with, um, one of my previous co-founders and the agency,
Speaker:branding agency that we co-founded.
Speaker:And Um, it just wasn't working for me anymore.
Speaker:It wasn't serving my soul.
Speaker:I didn't feel we, we weren't on the same page with where
Speaker:we might take the business.
Speaker:So anyway, we separated.
Speaker:I went to, um, Portugal for 18 days.
Speaker:Um, and I remember going on a trip, I can't remember what part Portugal is,
Speaker:but it was a gorgeous, and it'll come to me in a minute, so I'm just gonna
Speaker:keep going and maybe it'll come back.
Speaker:Um, the actual place it was, but it was just beautiful.
Speaker:Um, place that you could visit.
Speaker:And it was like this old kind of gardens and like these, these swirling
Speaker:stairs and it was like a manna house and all of it was just, it was just
Speaker:like acres and acres of like hidden waterfalls and little knocks and
Speaker:crannies and all this kinda stuff.
Speaker:Anyway, there was these statues.
Speaker:I remember the tour guy took us up to these statues, like these two dragons,
Speaker:and they were going off over there having a, and I was just on, and everyone was
Speaker:in the couples and things like that.
Speaker:Me and my husband were going through a really rocky patch at
Speaker:the time as well, so I was, I was solo traveling solo, loving it.
Speaker:Um, and they were going off over here, like having going, looking at the
Speaker:next statue or waterfall, whatever.
Speaker:And I'm just looking at these dragons and I'm just walking around and they're
Speaker:holding this big shell and I'm like, oh, this is a really cool shell.
Speaker:But inside the shell, massive shell.
Speaker:I see a baby shell, a little baby shell.
Speaker:There's a baby shell in.
Speaker:Now I wonder how many people see that baby shell.
Speaker:And I think that's what we're searching for when we're looking for
Speaker:meaning, when we're looking for our actual truest, most authentic selves.
Speaker:I think we're looking for the baby shells inside the picture shell.
Speaker:I'm fascinated by that in terms of the, this hunts, this adventure, this
Speaker:journey of just journey inwards, I think is what you are alluding to.
Speaker:Um, and to do that slowly and to do that methodically, I'm assuming to do
Speaker:that in a way that actually builds, um.
Speaker:And, and then from that place of finding these shells, stringing them together,
Speaker:wearing them around our neck, um, then turning up as that person rather than
Speaker:trying to match someone else's version of what it means to be authentic online.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:That is about, it's about taking back the story around
Speaker:authenticity and making it our own.
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:We have to, the authenticity story is ours to write, we have to write it more sense.
Speaker:So let's do that.
Speaker:And that's for me, maybe kind of core to this dilemma in terms of what it means,
Speaker:you know, what it means to be authentic, And why we struggle with being authentic.
Speaker:Um, and this, I know this feeling, the wanting to hide, needing to hide, but
Speaker:then because of that, just losing that fire, that energy, that passion, um,
Speaker:or we're just trying to be someone who we're not, uh, to
Speaker:get the noise and the praise.
Speaker:Uh, and then we just lose sight of truth.
Speaker:Hiding will hurt you more than it'll hurt anyone else.
Speaker:It'll hurt you.
Speaker:And this is, this is all about, I, I think when I think about the way we look
Speaker:at work, this inside out approach is like, if we can care more for ourselves,
Speaker:then we'll be able to care for others.
Speaker:And, and it talks to better, and it talks to what you're saying about this, if we
Speaker:can all be part of this, let's call it a movement, this approach, this philosophy
Speaker:that, let's take it slow, let's be more, not stop being a slave to the platforms,
Speaker:gather in places where we can really
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And that, and what that means technically, what that means strategically.
Speaker:Maybe that's for another conversation.
Speaker:But the core of this, um, is finding, and I, my belief is finding places where
Speaker:we can at least turn up as ourselves or at least turn up trying to be ourselves.
Speaker:And through that process of conversation with others who
Speaker:won't judge us, then discovering who that person might really be.
Speaker:I, I think as well, I learn more about myself when I hear someone else's story.
Speaker:'cause sometimes we just can't find the language or put the language
Speaker:to it because it's so in us, it's so trapped in us and we've never
Speaker:really spoken it out loud before.
Speaker:And I think that when we, when the really brave ones, the brave ones who
Speaker:have gone through very trauma and, you know, we've all gone through trauma in
Speaker:some way and we've all gone through some really hard and messy, difficult times.
Speaker:Even now we're going through it now, you know what I mean?
Speaker:And some, a lot of stuff we're living it so it feels too tender
Speaker:and too raw to share right now.
Speaker:But at some point, you know, when we, when we do feel, um, feel
Speaker:ready to share and actually go out there and put something out there
Speaker:because we believe that it's gonna.
Speaker:Support and help someone through it in some way.
Speaker:You know, that's about, you know, giving something, sharing in intentionally
Speaker:to actually support someone else who might be experiencing it, that pain or
Speaker:struggle too, so they don't feel alone.
Speaker:I think we learn about each other through each other's stories because.
Speaker:That's where the meaning lies.
Speaker:Because sometimes we don't know the right, the words to put to it.
Speaker:We don't know the emotions to put to it because a lot of the time the emotions
Speaker:we're feeling we can't even communicate because they just feel so visceral.
Speaker:And so in our bone marrow, like we're just like, oh, oh.
Speaker:So we actually, when we hear someone else tell their story and put language
Speaker:around it, we're just like, oh my gosh.
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:Oh my gosh, yes.
Speaker:Same.
Speaker:That is the world that I wanna be a part of the world where more of us are brave
Speaker:enough to show up and share our, our stories, um, without the fear of judgment
Speaker:because we just know, 'cause actually the meaning of actually putting it out
Speaker:there and, and, and knowing in our hearts that actually it's gonna do more good by
Speaker:beating out there than stuck inside us.
Speaker:That matters more than a fucking algorithm and lights that matters
Speaker:more than bullshit comments from bots.
Speaker:That matters more.
Speaker:And I think that's where I wanna be.
Speaker:Actually, I know that's where I wanna be and I really hope
Speaker:that I'm not the only one.
Speaker:I have a big feeling of,
Speaker:uh, I I I, I know of a festival in September where there's load of people
Speaker:like that, who, who wanna be there.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I wanna,
Speaker:uh, what you're talking to that, um, having a space to be able to
Speaker:at least start talking a similar language around meaning and stories.
Speaker:And I just wanted to share this kind of, this model that I found really
Speaker:helpful But basically it's a way of just identifying where you are at on this,
Speaker:let's call it this, four quadrants, the vertical axis, or in this case the
Speaker:horizontal axis is about being and doing and the other ones itself and others.
Speaker:And so the quadrant.
Speaker:Simply put is where do you, you know, and the question around these quadrants
Speaker:is where do you feel yourself at the moment in the sense of meaning?
Speaker:Are you in the space of being with self or are you in the space of doing for others?
Speaker:And I think a lot of us can find ourselves caught in the doing for
Speaker:other space, performing, working, serving, and forgetting about
Speaker:being with others, doing for self.
Speaker:And ultimately, which I think what you are talking about here is being with self,
Speaker:really spending that time, understanding the stories, doing that self-inquiry
Speaker:so that then when you are doing for others, it comes from a place of grounded
Speaker:authority as opposed to people pleasing.
Speaker:Uh, and just basically, uh, um, referencing yourself based on other
Speaker:people's definitions of success.
Speaker:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker:It's just.
Speaker:Being present in your own and just, and and, and knowing it.
Speaker:Knowing it so intently
Speaker:and having spaces where you can explore that together.
Speaker:Not all necessarily on your own.
Speaker:Yeah, I think it's definitely something, and this is why I do what I do now.
Speaker:This is why I'm a story coach now.
Speaker:Moved from this sort of agency owner working with different brands in
Speaker:the startup tech scene and you know, who are all building, making meaning
Speaker:and blah, blah, blah, making change.
Speaker:I'm like, oh, that's all bullshit.
Speaker:I wanna, you know, work with people actually.
Speaker:Believe that and who are actually doing meaningful work.
Speaker:And I wanna help them do that without losing themselves.
Speaker:And this is where my five stories comes in.
Speaker:And that is the methodology that I've now evolved to work for creators, for
Speaker:founders, for entrepreneurs who are out there trying to do meaningful work, who
Speaker:are feeling this horrible, horrible weight from the pressures of having to perform.
Speaker:And I actually just wanna do, do it their own way and figure out what
Speaker:that looks like, figure out what that incredible, powerful, meaningful story
Speaker:is for themselves, for their audiences so they can show up and do work without,
Speaker:you know, forgetting actually who they truly are doing work that matters.
Speaker:Um, and that's what,
Speaker:and so for people who are, um, who might not know you and are really
Speaker:curious about your work, where would you wanna point them to?
Speaker:Um, so two places.
Speaker:Uh, so it's, it's an old site, but you can check it out.
Speaker:You see five stories on there.
Speaker:So it's, uh, tell five stories.
Speaker:Number five, not written.
Speaker:Five, I say, um, tell five stories do com.
Speaker:Um, and there's a web, um, where if you find me on LinkedIn, there's
Speaker:a, um, uh, drop me a message 'cause I've got some spaces,
Speaker:Uh, for those of you who are interested in like more of these stories then,
Speaker:or particularly about showing up online, showing up in the world
Speaker:authentically, then check out, um, net Tomorrow at midday, we're doing a
Speaker:Friday fireside, uh, with Kevin Smith.
Speaker:Uh, I'll put a link in the, in the chat as well.
Speaker:We'll be continue talking about what it means to show up.
Speaker:Authentically as well as being of service and helping others.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:Excellent.
Speaker:Thank you very much, Amanda.
Speaker:Uh, final thoughts before you?
Speaker:What would you like?
Speaker:What's, what are you coming away with?
Speaker:just that it's up to us.
Speaker:It's up to us.
Speaker:I think in terms in summary, I think it's up to us to choose it.
Speaker:And the more we don't choose it, the more like choose, the more we don't choose
Speaker:it for ourselves, the more, um, we're doing for ourselves and each other.
Speaker:Um, so we have to make the decision.
Speaker:Do we want to.
Speaker:Show up and be seen for who we truly are, or do we wanna show up and
Speaker:be seen to please everybody else?
Speaker:I, I am, what I'm leaving with is just the reinforcement of the work
Speaker:that Lawrence and I are doing.
Speaker:Realizing how being at spaces like Summer camp or Happy startup summer camp
Speaker:or Altitude is an opportunity to, to share our stories with others in a space
Speaker:that feels connecting and through that process, you know, being able to feel
Speaker:more into what it means to be authentic.
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:So thank you for reminding me of that.
Speaker:Um, can I just leave one question that I sent you earlier, Carlos, which I
Speaker:think everybody, this is a question I'm journaling at the moment and I heard
Speaker:it from poet that I mentioned earlier.
Speaker:David Wyatt, and please do check out his poem.
Speaker:Everything is waiting for you.
Speaker:It's gorgeous.
Speaker:So this is the question, What would you be, if you failed being yourself, Oh,
Speaker:I beat Elon Musk.
Speaker:Oh, really?
Speaker:I would be Apex Predator Alpha money focused.
Speaker:Shit on every one person.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Oh gosh.
Speaker:Isn't that a horrible, horrible visual.
Speaker:Oh, right.
Speaker:On that note, um, thank you everyone for joining us.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:If you, if maybe, uh, answer that question on LinkedIn and,
Speaker:and tag Amanda in and uh, yeah.
Speaker:Hashtag authenticity dilemma and we can just continue this
Speaker:conversation asynchronously online and fuck the algorithm.
