Episode 160

full
Published on:

17th Jun 2025

Nurture your inner rebel

What if it’s punk to pause? To quote the Nap Bishop Tricia Hersey, that “rest is a form of resistance”?

Caro Turlings and Jobbe Holtes are multi-talented creatives and Vision alumni with a deep love for music, dancing, and dressing up. They join Laurence and Carlos to explore

  • How to forget DIY and embrace DIT (Do it Together)
  • Stepping out and stepping up
  • How creativity, rest, and discovering the rebel within can help to fuel the change you want to create in the world.

If you want to make a positive impact but think the only way through is to push until you burn out, this conversation will help you find a new way to make a difference more sustainably.

Links

Transcript
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Why don't we start in traditional fireside, uh, sort of tradition and get

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each of you maybe just to share a little bit about, bit about your own work,

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I think, 'cause obviously you've come together in life and now in business.

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So curious to share more, maybe a little bit about your own sort of career and

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journey, what got you to this point?

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And, and then maybe we can pick up there about where you got

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to with this collaboration.

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So maybe Caro, do you wanna start as a fellow designer?

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Maybe share a little bit more about your Yes.

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Journey.

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Well, the, the art behind me is from my daughter, so it's not my own art.

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But, uh, yeah, so came from a graphic design point, art school, creating

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lots of visual things, um, um, making other people's dreams and visions more

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beautiful in the last 16, 17 years.

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Uh, yeah, and it's been already, uh, I feel two lifetimes ago that

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I started as a graphic designer.

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I had a, another life as a nightclub, nightclub host and a catering

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company, almost 10 years ago.

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And then I came back to graphic design again, and after a few years I was

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like, Hey, uh, something stirring in.

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Uh, and then I found a vision, uh, 2020 program, a year and a half ago.

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I've had harder times in my life as well, so finding my own spark is,

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has been a topic, that reoccurred during, uh, the fish in 2020, um, which

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berted the project, spark land, dance.

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And now also, also the, uh, road that I'm walking with Jobbe with the Rebel retreat.

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So, um, finding your inner rebel, finding your inner spark, they're all connected.

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Uh, and this is what, if you show up in life authentically, you need

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to nourish because otherwise you don't know why you're doing it.

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So yeah.

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Yba over to you.

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Well, I've

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been, uh, the owner of a company for about 12 years, I guess 10 to 12 years.

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It was called One Day Artists.

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And we connected, art, uh, visual artists to educational programs, uh, at local

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schools, like high schools workshops.

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And the idea was to change the perspective of on your own

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surrounding, uh, via the art.

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So art can be like a very broad, uh, spectrum to use, uh, not

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only as self expression, and it was really beautiful to do.

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before that I used to be a, a visual artist myself.

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Uh, actually I still think I am a visual artist, but I have

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a deep love for making music.

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uh, I used to play in a band and I recently picked up

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making music on my own again.

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Because I lost a little bit, like my spark on making music.

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So this is all a little bit connected.

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While, while stopping my company, I decided to try and sell my company

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and, uh, fabulously failed at it.

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So there was actually one of my mantras was adventures Failure.

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And I definitely hacked myself into failure, uh, because I didn't sell my

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company, but decided I was totally not happy, uh, in this function anymore.

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And, uh, also found, uh, out about, uh, happy Startup Camp, uh, and

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then the Fish in 2020 program.

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Uh, and there I understood that I have something that I needed

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to learn with the liminal space.

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So I decided to learn more, more about liminal space and, while being also, I.

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I don't know, trying to create new stuff.

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I found myself painting other people's faces at Sparkle and Dance at Kara's

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event, and we decided, yeah, that's something, let's try and figure out what

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liminal space could be and, uh, well this, so to pick up a little bit on that,

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this is, this is my background, like how can I use arts in the broad sense?

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You know, for me it's always very broad.

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So how can I use the arts to, to change perspectives?

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How can we go through liminal space, be in liminal space, and how can we connect

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to an event at Sparkle and dance and wow.

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Uh, that's where I'm right now.

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So, uh mm-hmm.

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Also birthing the Rebel Retreat.

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Actually it's the anti retreat.

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It's not the Rebel retreat, but it's, I dunno, it's, it's the,

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the illustration of Rebel Retreat.

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But there's, I, I feel definitely connected to being a rebel.

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Um, I see myself as a kind of punk inspired person.

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Like, not always a punk, but like really the spirit of DIY.

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The spirit of going forward.

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Yes.

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he's mentioned sparkle and dance, so maybe Caro share a little bit more about.

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What you did before we came into contact with you.

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'cause you were doing bits and pieces, weren't you, with different events you

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said your background was in, not just design, but hosting and all of that stuff.

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So maybe just share a little bit more about sparkling dance and how that came

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about and the other events you were doing.

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You mentioned, um, some drink and draw and things like that.

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Yeah.

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Oh, thank you for, uh, reminding me about drink and control.

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I keep forgetting that's also part of the game.

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Indeed.

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Uh, yeah.

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So, uh, I think for me, hosting is something I do naturally.

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I'm a very, because hospital person, A hos, no, well, a very kind, kind

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person that you want to be around with because I'm nice to be around with.

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Uh, because I love, my love language is food.

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My love language is music.

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My love language is love.

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So yeah, uh, getting people around, uh, a table, a dance floor, a campfire, and.

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Connect on a deeper level.

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Yeah, that's truly what drives me.

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So as a graphic designer, I did a lot of, uh, assignments for other people

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with deadlines, with, uh, uh, uh, invoices, needing to be paid, et cetera.

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So, uh, I lost a little bit of the playfulness of designing because

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still there was like, uh, the desire to create for the sake of creating,

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but I couldn't find a spot in my calendar to do it because I spent

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so much time creating for others.

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And then I just wanted to chill out on the couch and do nothing.

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So, uh, during Corona, we couldn't meet up.

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Because it wasn't allowed.

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So we met up, uh, in a space with lots of space between us and the first edition, I

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think Anna is here as well as a listener.

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We were with four, uh, designers from Hogan, and we started

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the first, uh, drink and draw.

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And, um, the goal for this is to play, to fail, to get rid of your inner critic.

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Uh, the voice that says, this isn't good enough.

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I am not good enough.

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It needs to be perfect.

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It needs to be done.

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It needs to be finished.

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All these voices that might sound very familiar to, uh, the people listening

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here and, uh, in my screen as well.

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And most of the time it's around four to six, seven people around the table.

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Uh, we do a small assignment to fail and then a bigger assignment

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to enjoy the creative process.

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We share our arts supplies with each other, and then we

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do a little show and tell.

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And yeah, it's just a really vibrant place.

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It's like once every two, three months.

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yeah.

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So it sparked joy also with the people who, uh, are regular

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visitors of the drink and draw.

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Um, and the other part I took was, uh, the catering and night clip, uh,

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story adventure, which actually started when I was seven months pregnant.

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So maybe, uh, my hormones were, uh, making me insane in a good,

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uh, but yeah, a, a friend of ours, uh, uh, had a big building.

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It's also the, the place was called The Big Building, and it

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was a creative hub for startups.

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And they had a really giant canteen, which used to be the

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Dutch Post, uh, company was there.

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So they had like, uh, cattles where you could make like 300 liters of

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soup and frying pans and everything.

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And they were looking for somebody to host the space.

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So have like a,

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Living room, uh, living,

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living room vibe in a startup, Hosty building.

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So we did the catering, uh, for, uh, 50 it guys who were there with

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a really cool company from Mark Flatter, who's also a part of the

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Happy Startup School, uh, spindle.

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And they, they were my first, uh, client then.

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So it started to the, it just happens.

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It feels like it just happens whilst being seven months pregnant.

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So my kid was practically born in the kitchen slash in the nightclub.

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and, um, with my previous partner, we, uh, we birthed the, the, the

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project that was happening then.

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So it was lots of, um, things coming together.

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Also, the pressure of a temporary project, 'cause it, the building

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was getting demolished because the station area was being redivided.

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Mm-hmm.

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So, yeah, it was a very intense time.

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Because we worked long hours.

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Uh, I just became a, a parent.

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Uh, I've never had a catering club, a catering company or a nightclub before.

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So all this novelty of just doing pressure going, and now looking back

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at it, 10 years later, I can still see all the beauty of it, but the realistic

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view, uh, if I step back a few years, then it was such hard work, so draining.

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I pushed myself on many levels, which also meant that I was

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burnt out after I got out of it.

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I sometimes gave the example if you have this cloth on your countertop

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table and you rinse it a lot, then that you get holes in it.

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Mm. And then you do like this, and then there's like a few fibers left.

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I actually felt like that after three years of, um,

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doing the big building project.

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So, although I was pursuing a dream of being a, a host, uh, cooking food

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for people, uh, being a nightclub mama, which I really love still to

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do today, but I don't do it all time.

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You still are you still?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I'm, I am, but, but I've made some decisions to do it differently.

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Yes.

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Mm-hmm.

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So very many with, with boundaries.

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Yes.

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Something with boundaries, something with checking in with myself.

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Uh, something with energy, something with h maybe as well.

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Wisdom.

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so I think Spark on dance is all about that.

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Like, it's like the sparkly, bubbly energy that Caro provides while being

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in the, you know, it's not about being the center of attention, but there's

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something about sharing and giving.

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Uh, and also, you know, providing safe space, uh, in a, uh, uh, in

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a, on a, uh, sparkly dance floor, uh, with certain boundaries.

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Also, certain, um, uh, invitations.

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Yeah.

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And certain invitations to people to think, to rethink about life

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choices, but also rethink about how they stand up in life.

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I think this is what you're doing now and this is what

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you bring to sparkle on dance.

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So I really see this as a. You know, progressing, maturing

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mom on the dance floor.

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Yeah, That's also me.

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My kid is all, is nine now.

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So I've learned a lot as a parent as well.

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So maybe we can use this example.

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Before we move on, I'm curious about your love of hosting and community.

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'cause you talked about working nightclubs, doing drink and

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draw, like swipe and dance.

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Now this retreat, like holding space, it feels like a gift.

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You've got a superpower maybe, I dunno if it feels like that, but it

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sounds like, um, from what I know of you and from what y has shared,

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that this is a, a gift you have.

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Can you pinpoint where that's come from?

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Is there any sort of experiences?

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There are some assumptions

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I can make.

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Yeah, sure.

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so my mom came from Poland back in the eighties and I was born from that.

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But the Polish culture is very, uh, food minded.

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So when you, uh, go to somebody's place, there's always cookies, there's

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always, uh, something to drink.

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You never leave without extra food to take home.

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So this is, uh, especially in Dutch culture, that doesn't

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happen in Dutch culture.

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So I must say my Polish roots are really important in this case.

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Uh, my dad was a director in the theater, so I was born born in the theater as well.

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So I like to go backstage, uh, to see, uh, artists getting

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ready for their performance.

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So also the front of house, back of house, is something that feels very natural.

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So also when hosting an event, uh, I am aware of these two worlds that exist.

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So there's the front of the house.

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It's also in the, in a restaurant.

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It's also called front of house, back of house.

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In the kitchen is where the ha where it's happening, where the, the fire is.

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But in front of house people should not notice if there's any stress

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or things are going to shit, or you forgot very important ingredients.

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You just smile and wave, fix it on the go.

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yeah.

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And also I think my personality, I, I really like to say, oh,

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it's not going like this.

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Let's see.

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Okay, we can do it differently.

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So working with, uh, high stress environments, um, maybe it's, uh, uh,

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it's, it can be very toxic because if you only work in high stress

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environments and you only fix last minute stuff, then that's not the way to go.

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But if you can, like, manage the peaks of stress, and also I'm learning to

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prepare much better, uh, every time I do an event and see where the holes

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are, uh, getting a good team behind me.

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So I love working together with other people because yeah,

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everybody brings their own magic.

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So finding the right people that you have a good click with, um, the

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spark that you have between you, then the energy will move and then more

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happens if you, if you do it alone.

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I mean, I can do a lot alone, but it's not just that much fun.

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And I, I make myself my life really difficult if I do stuff alone because

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the only person I'm talking to is myself.

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And at my table in my head, there's a lot of critical people.

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We call them the gremlins.

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They can be there.

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So I met my gremlins during the momentum program as well, which, which was a

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really big struggle, but it also helped me now to realize, oh wait, they are here.

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But when I am at a, in this critical self judging space, it probably means

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that I should talk to another person and reevaluate what's going on.

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Use the mirror of the other one to make sure I get into a regulated state again.

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Yes.

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I'm feeling this, uh, event planning as a spiritual journey, learning

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about yourself in the process of putting yourself out yeah.

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Carlos, with, in relation to, well, as we know with events, it's, it's a

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kind of a unusual business to run and it can be scary kind of being in that

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space where uncertainty happens and like you said, Kara being able to smile

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whilst also underneath kind of going like, what the hell's going on here?

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We've had a few of those.

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Yeah.

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Like there's a, there's a lot there that I was, I was hooking into, not just

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specifically about events, even though totally relating to that, the need to

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be present and work, you know, work with what's happening in the moment,

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uh, as opposed to just panicking and, and, and, and relating to that hosting

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bit, I think is real strong intention, which I, I believe is so important.

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And I feel.

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I, I sense it when I go to events where this hasn't happened, where

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you are felt to feel, you made, to feel like you are belonging.

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You made to feel noticed.

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You're made to feel welcomed.

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And I think there's there too many events where I've been to where you just feel

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like you're being processed through a series of talks or experiences with no

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sense of like, am I supposed to be here?

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Do I, am I, does anyone notice that I'm even here?

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Am I just part of an audience?

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And that for me is, if anything that's, I think that's even as much

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value, if not more valuable than the information that I'm gonna get.

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That real says like, I'm supposed to be here.

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Great.

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And then ah, and Yammer down.

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And then that other part for me around, I think that balance between

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being someone who can fight the fires but not living life as a

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firefighter, because yeah, that whole.

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I don't know, chronic cortisol experience mm-hmm.

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That we can get.

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I, I can, I've seen and I can sometimes get caught myself with, oh

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yes, I need to always be busy, always reacting, always that, as opposed to,

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okay, what did I learn for that last time that I don't wanna do again?

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Yes.

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Mm-hmm.

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It doesn't have to always be this crazy.

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And at the same time, when it does get crazy, I'm gonna deal with it.

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I'm gonna deal with it now and I'm not gonna overthink it.

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and that, not just about events, but I think also the way we can

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run our work and our businesses.

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also loving, imagining the younger Caro being backstage absorbing.

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I'm seeing you a sponge, like absorbing all this stuff, you know, backstage

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at the theater or being around kind of hosting, good hosting from your, uh,

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your relatives and, and just learning, you know, learning rather than, I

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dunno, I'm a believer that community.

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People who start communities tend to have, have experienced it themselves.

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You know, I think it's quite hard to learn how to build community.

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I think you need to be taught it.

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I, I learned you can't build communities.

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You need to nourish them, and they then arise.

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So by building very hard, it's, it's the d it's a different kind of energy.

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Okay.

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So on that yba, I'm curious how you came into this story.

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'cause obviously, Kara, you talked about the big building

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and you got this off the ground.

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Ground felt like a very, well, I'm gonna say busy time, but also it sounds like you

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came out of it needing a break from it.

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But yeah, Jobbe, where, where did you come into the story

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and what was that like for you?

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Well, that's,

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yeah, that's, that's a good question.

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Where did I get into the story?

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I guess.

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With your

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motorbike, I guess.

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I guess with my motorbike.

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Did he ride in?

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He rode in like from the wild west.

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I rode in

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my motorbike.

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Yes.

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That's what, that's how I got into your life though.

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for me also the, you know, this is like the traditional time of cargos.

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Actually on the same time I went also to a happy startup camp and it was

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on the brink of quitting my company.

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So I went to my first happy startup camp.

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Uh, and just two or three days before, uh, my former colleague told me like,

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I don't know everyone to continue, and I just said like, let's quit.

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And then one of the most beautiful experiences that I had on Happy Startup

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Campus that you guys had this like.

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Like a boss workshop and I was like, oh my God, I'm supposed to be here.

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So Carlos, yes, thank you for that.

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I

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said

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I should be there because I had to grieve.

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And then, um, well then as the process of what, what, what am I doing?

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You know, I had, uh, so a little bit before stopping this company because it's,

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uh, that's where it actually started.

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I had this company, but had the feeling that I wanted to do something different.

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It was really fun to have a company and, it felt really successful.

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I think we were just in the niche where everybody needed us.

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Uh, there was enough work, but I didn't felt fulfilled anymore.

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I was, feeling the fireman.

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Uh, I was just working for the sake of others.

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And that's, uh, where I got.

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A little bit burned out.

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So I jumped literally on my moped.

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I got this really silly moped.

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I can tell you, uh, lots of stories about this, but it's not the program right now.

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But I've got a silly moped and I jumped on this moped and I did it

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tour through, uh, through Europe.

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uh, and I came back, and I decided I want to actually do more with the,

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the art in the broader spectrum still.

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Like I am a visual artist.

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I use collage techniques, uh, to help people, uh, get a different

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perspective on questions they've got.

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And I was like, yeah, this, this could be interesting to

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help people think about change.

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And I think change is a really big, uh, thing in my life and probably

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because I'm really bad at it.

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I really don't like change.

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Um, and then figuring it out, uh, uh, whilst doing, uh, vision 2020.

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And so this is all these conversations with all these other people, uh, uh, all

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over the world about what are you doing?

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Uh, how do you think about yourself?

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We figured out like liminal space.

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Uh, actually Lawrence, you introduced it on the first conversation we

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had together, uh, like, uh, how do you feel about liminal space?

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And I was like, what, what's liminal space?

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Although I never heard of the, the, the term I actually already got into

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this lingering in the now feeling.

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Mm-hmm.

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I dunno if that's really like something, if it's tangible, a lingering in the

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now, but it's all about this, this, this transition time and giving your,

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uh, self permission to transition and also the transition of not

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knowing And, um, or the transition.

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Transition two.

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Uh, be able to, to, to embrace not the, the not knowing.

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So I decided to actually shout it out from the roof.

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Like, I don't know, give me work with something I don't know I wanna do

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and all this, and, and I hate change,

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so I'm gonna help I people I hate change.

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Yeah.

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I'm gonna change.

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Yeah.

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So I'm gonna navigate your change because I can't do it.

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And um, and, uh, um, so, so this is the, the process I was in.

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And, uh, I'm still in like navigating my own change, navigating also

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like what's limi liminal space and how can liminal space actually

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pause the system a little bit?

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Mm-hmm.

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And this is, I was brought up, uh, in, in, you know, I, I'm from, from

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the nineties and um, in the nineties I learned to have an opinion of.

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On, on probably every topic you present me.

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I've got an opinion, and I recently learned that this opinion is not like

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an opinion, but actually feeling that I want to, uh, vocalize in a way.

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And it doesn't matter that I have an opinion.

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I learned that we don't help each other with opinion, opinions.

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I like to give you my opinion, but it's not necessarily needed.

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So, um, postponing this opinion was, was a topic for me to, to, to figure out.

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And, and so, uh, still in this process, figuring stuff out, being

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in liminal space, uh, we went to another happy startup camp from

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you last, uh, uh, September.

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And then I spoke to you Lawrence, and you said like, yeah, uh, um, I

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don't, I want to go to Spark on dance.

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And I directly went to Caro.

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I was like, okay, if car, if, if Lawrence is coming to Spark on

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dance, maybe Carlos can come over.

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These are the people you want in your event.

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So.

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We know for sure there are Dutch people, so we can lu in the Dutch

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people via Lauren, St. Carlos.

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Let's get them, invite them and get them over.

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So this is where, where also one of my, I think I'm a really good, uh,

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either you're a strong, big thinker, so I would never make a jump like that.

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I would just say, no, let's meander, let's la la la.

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Jobbe was like, Hey, here's an opportunity.

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Let's make it big.

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And I was like, okay with you.

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I wanna do something big.

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Let's, let's go for it.

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That's,

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that's the punk spirit coming out there, is it?

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Yeah, it is.

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It is.

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And this is actually, so I, uh, we were already involved in each other's projects.

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We, we have very much long conversations about what we're doing, but also trying

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to not only, talk each other into projects, like everybody has his own path.

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But here, there was this, like, this energy going like, okay, Caro,

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I can help you on going somewhere.

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And I, and suddenly I was also really scared because I was

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like, what's my position in this?

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You know, I've got a great idea, but am I even allowed to be in this process?

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And then we started to like, to like figure out like, okay, but

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if we are gonna work together.

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So you're a sparkly, bubbly person, like, uh, with an event, sparkle and dance?

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I'm not really, uh, to be honest, not really seeing

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myself, although very sparkly.

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I'm never connected.

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I don't identify with the work sparkle and dance.

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It's really funny.

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Uh, thing we, we identified, uh, ourselves.

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Somehow.

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So Sparkle is not something that I would identify to, but, uh,

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ignition and Ignite and all these kind of more like action based,

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motorbike terms.

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Motorbike terms, it's like, yeah, I, I can be a spark plug.

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Yes.

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Okay.

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There's a spark in it.

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So then we can, can ignite and then we can go, you know, that

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like, this spirit is really great.

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and then we figured out like, what's like actually your story, my story,

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and how can we relate to each other?

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And then we figured out, like, I see myself as a punk, and Kyle was

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like, I'm not a punk, I'm a pirate.

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Okay, what's the pirate?

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What's the punk?

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How does this,

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Yeah.

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I'm also wearing hats like I'm a pirate.

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And, and we were like, yeah, these are rebels.

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Like, and then suddenly we'll be talking and like, yeah, punk, but also

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like this, and sorry for everybody who identifies as a hippie, I.

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Do love you because I'm a big hippie punk, but I, you know, I was like, I'm

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a little bit fed up with this hippie shit, and, and I'm, and I'm, I'm

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talking about you don't want to slow

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down.

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You want to go faster.

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Yeah.

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Yes.

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I want to go faster, but I see we have to press pause.

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You know, I, I need it.

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So how can we come up with a story that we feel connected to, that's our language,

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which may, which maybe says the same, uh, as every retreat, but I don't want

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to different, I want to be different.

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So I want, I wanted to do something different, and I was like, yeah,

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I want to be different too.

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Let's do something anti Yes.

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And this is also kind.

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The pirate.

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So that's Kato and the punk, that's me.

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And then you've got, also, Kato is like, uh, has a a, a deep Buddhistic background.

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I'm really interested in this philosophy as well.

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And, and then Kara said like, yeah, but I don't want to be that punk on the

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barric cage throw, uh, uh, throwing, uh, bottles of, of, uh, what is it called?

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A Molotov, uh, uh, cocktails, you know,

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Molotov cocktail.

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Yeah.

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I, I do, I do though.

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I do not anymore.

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I don't wanna do

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explosions.

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We don't wanna do explosions.

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We wanna do sparks, sparkly sparks.

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So ignite a fire.

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Mm-hmm.

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And then yes, the story unfolds and that's why it's also nurture your inner rebel.

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So here's also the, uh, the word of 2025 is paradox.

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Paradox, paradox.

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And we noticed that also in our event.

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The paradox is there.

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So it's the feistiness, yet with a soft, um, feel.

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And that's what I love about this.

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Well, just hearing about this, how, how this collaboration has come

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about, but also what each of you brings to it and where you meet in

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the middle, which is really Yeah.

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Nice to hear that you can work together and, and we also rebel

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against each other a lot.

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So a lot not, not to give you a very uh uh, yes.

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Oh yes.

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It is a love story, a loving story.

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But there's also lots of rebellion in, uh, the way we work, how we work, how we want

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to prove our point is the right point.

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And then realizing, no, but we're in it together.

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It's not my point, but it's about the bigger picture.

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Yeah.

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Um, think's so.

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This rebel spirits,

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that's great.

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Creative partnership for me is about that, isn't it?

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And I'm sure whether you're a musician artist like me and Carlos

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running a business together, you come with your different perspectives.

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Um, but it's in that tension that the sparks fly, I think, isn't it

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Well, I guess.

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I guess so.

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And it's also, this tension is really interesting.

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Can be a little bit tedious sometimes or a little bit like exhausting.

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No.

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Um, what I love is like, what you, what you told before Carl about you and

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creating community or nurturing community.

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This is something that also attracts me a lot.

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I'm totally different.

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I'm not really the first person to, uh, give you a lot of attention because I'm,

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I'm not always running, but this is like, community is the first thing that comes

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to mind for me that's super important.

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I'm, I'm living, I'm sitting right now in, in a very large building with

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400 people living around in the same building and, and working around, and

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it's a very big community and I love to fight for this community as well.

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So this is also something that brought us together as well.

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We, we think like, uh, in the same conversation, how can we work together?

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Like what's the new rebel or.

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The punk revolution that we can ignite actually, and that's not only

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putting pause on yourself, but also if we want to, to do stuff different

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because we have the feeling like we want to change something in the world.

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What kind of change do we want to bring them was actually, we figured

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out we do not only want to bring joy or sparks, but we also love

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if people see each other more.

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For the humans they are, you know?

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Mm-hmm.

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There's a lot of friction going on in the world.

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There's a lot of oppositions.

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It would be so lovely to see your neighbor as a person, as a person,

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and what can we learn from this person and, and maybe we're not

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always really well connected, but how can we bring connection and mm-hmm.

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So we decided, actually, this is really rebellious in this world of.

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Hyper individualism.

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And although we recognize the same as you guys are doing a lot of build

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uh, building bridges to together.

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But, but in our community, there's still, I think, I think

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we, we continu continuously, sorry for my pro another words.

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Okay.

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Sorry for this.

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Um, we, we need to, I dunno, embrace this and, and, and

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bring it more into the world.

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Like how do we connect, how can we get back to being human?

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And, and this is actually right now, it's really weird, isn't it?

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This is a, it feels really rebellious to do this.

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It's an act of rebellion to actually slow down to reconnect to your

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neighbors or your local community or the people who need to be around you.

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It's weird though that this sounds rebellious.

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Well, like you said, you're fighting against the system, which

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doesn't necessarily promote that.

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Right.

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It's um.

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We need a new system.

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The current, current system is doing exactly what it needs to do,

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but it's not what the world needs.

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I, I heard that the other day and I was like, that's a good point.

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Capitalism works in a way that it needs to work.

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And individualists, hyper individualism works in a way that it needs to work.

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So, uh, if we can offer new solutions or, views on maybe village

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life is a good way to look at it.

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So if we come to Happy Startup summer camp, it's a tiny village for a weekend,

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and, and, uh, there's a campfire and there's a table to sit at and

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there's dancing and it's just a mini, mini tour, uh, community together.

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Mm-hmm.

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And if I host Sparkle and Dance, that's also what I see.

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So we have delicious food available.

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So you nourish your inner.

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Human being, and there's lovely music to dance on, so you can shake it off

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and leave your daily grind behind and just like feel the real you again.

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uh, and also, uh, maybe to point this out, if you are taking good care of yourself,

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you can take good care of others.

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You've, you have heard me said this much often, uh, this is because then

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your guard goes down and you feel more relaxed and more open, and also you're

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less clingy to being right, for instance.

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So being right is a very narrow minded way of trying to grasp onto something.

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And I think this is also, which comes from Buddhism practicing,

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uh, meditation and mindfulness to get a flexible mindset because.

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Nothing is sure in this world except death in Texas.

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So, mm-hmm.

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Um, uh, by practicing the Buddhistic way of the mindfulness and then knowing

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of the not knowing, which also lingers to the liminal space, uh, yeah, it

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helps you to be more open to the world.

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So, yes, also, I have a lot of assumptions about a lot of things,

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and I try to catch myself every time.

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Like, Ooh, I saw this person and I thought it would be a really unkind person.

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And then we have a conversation and it turns out to be a

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love, lovely human being.

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What made me think that I thought this would be not a nice person, you

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know, it's all the assumptions and the stories that you have, and if you take

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the time to relax a little bit, like pause for a little bit, breathe a little

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bit, and then have an interaction.

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Uh, also this goes for yourself.

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So if you have a really struggling conversation with yourself.

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Breath a little bit, taking a step back and trying again also works.

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I quite liked what you were just saying, Kara, about being right, and

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I think there's this, what was coming up for this, so there's the, the

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difference between being right or being, there's being right and there's being

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true, and I mean, true to yourself.

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So there's something around when we are interacting with someone, and

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I, I was hearing like the creative tension between, between yourself

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and the other, because you're both trying to be true to yourselves.

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That whole, so the, the how, the initiative, this, you know, in a rebel,

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this idea of bringing these two worlds together wasn't about, all right, whose

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idea am I gonna, uh, whose idea is it and how am I gonna work with that?

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It's like, how am I gonna bring myself, how am I gonna bring you?

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Who are we?

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So that inner clarity, like, I'm a punk, I'm a sparkle person, I'm

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about rest, I'm about activism.

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Okay, fine, we got that.

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Let's put that in a soup.

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And then what comes out from that as opposed to, you know, manufacturing

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it just purely from one perspective, but then that, that creates tension.

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There's uncertainty.

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Where's it gonna go?

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And I think there, you know, a lot of us who are maybe wedded to a more structured,

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safe way of building something.

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Might be, feel that, feel that there's a risk there.

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'cause where does it go?

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We dunno where it's gonna go.

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How do we can predict what's gonna be, we don't either.

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Yeah, you're the, but there's, there's stepping into that with that awareness

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rather than holding on tightly.

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Like, I gotta have a plan.

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I gotta know where it's gonna be.

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You know, if I don't know, and I can relate to that feeling and,

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and having an, uh, a discerners, which is, when is that required?

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When do we All right.

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Need to have the plan and when do we need to be in the limit of space for a bit?

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Let go.

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Yeah.

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I love that.

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I think you said yba lingering.

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Lingering in the now.

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That, that feeling I'm sure we can all relate to of like, I wanna

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move, I want to get out of this.

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Discomfort.

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But there's

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time to, well, to, to give you also a little bit, you know, for me, working with

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a lot of lingering in the now is because I need this so much because, uh, you talking

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Carlos about having a structure, most of the times I will be like, a little bit,

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bit like, uh, on the edge of my seat.

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Like Kaha, we need to make a structure right now, you know?

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no, I

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Need structure.

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That's what you say.

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I need structure.

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I need structure right now.

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Need, I demand it.

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And then I'm like, okay, give to me now.

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Yeah.

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And then I say, you don't need structure.

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We just need to have a walk.

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And then we go for a walk.

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I can relate to, yeah, but I've tried to get

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Kara to do some of the exercises on the program and she's like, it doesn't work.

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It doesn't

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work.

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I don't, you can't me in the box.

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I'm a creative, actually, actually, you know, although she's saying I'm

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a pirate, the real rebel could be.

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Actually, isn't it?

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Yeah.

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It's an inception.

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She's, she's never doing what you ask her never working out how you want it to be.

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What's better, better,

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better than your imagines ever.

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It's indeed,

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it's bad.

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Yeah, that's true.

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That's true.

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Indeed.

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The, the, the beauty is about that, uh, actually what you were saying, Carlos,

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um, allow yourself to just go, which is really difficult and can be really scary.

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And the fun thing and being together.

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And this the good part, uh, not only being in a relationship,

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but also like professionally, we are doing this together.

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So there's already two persons in.

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So that's, it gives you some confidence.

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And then, um, we, uh, we have this awesome team of, uh, uh, creative

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people all over the world, uh, that cheering, uh, those are cheering

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us on, so that's also really cool.

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then, then you're building already a platform.

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I don't know for, to be honest.

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we still have to, uh, sell tickets.

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We're still not done doing this retreat.

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And we, we set up this ground rules, like what do we want to

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get out of it and when do we stop?

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And this morning, uh, we were sit, uh, we were sitting together and was

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like, okay, yeah, but we decided we actually wanted to earn money with it.

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But now we already decided we want to continue because it.

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Because we love the energy coming out of it and maybe the money is

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getting a little bit, a bit later.

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So this is this also the struggle, like, investing

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time, investing energy, building the story.

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And I think also you were just, when you were just talking Carlos, I realized,

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uh, we are not building a prod product for people that are asking for something.

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We are creating something because we feel this is necessary.

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And this might also be a little bit more, uh, outside of a comfort zone

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because it's very common nowadays that you click on a link and it says

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you're buying this, this and this.

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This will be the result and it costs you 250 euros.

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Go

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structure certainty.

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Yes.

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So certainty.

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And, and, and then the philosophical side of your bamy gets the over hunt hand.

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' cause we're saying yes, and we are not the persons to say what

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you are getting out of this.

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We don't know either yet.

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We do know a lot.

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So we are giving boundaries.

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We're setting the frame, and within this frame, the magic will happen.

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But we also are very aware of the fact that the way of selling

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magic, uh, is it's not structure.

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So, uh, maybe this is also for some people who are now interested in

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coming, but they don't know yet because they're looking for certainty.

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We can't give certainty, but we can give promises about a space that is well

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designed, uh, with love and care and attention with human beings that are

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very capable of being in this world.

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I love, I love, I love how we're talking about this masculine

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versus feminine energy, you know, uh, like the, the structure.

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And, uh, is it really masculine?

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And like the flowing is like feminine, like how we play with that.

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And this is the thing that I love, what I would love to bring to the world

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more like, can we make, give enough structure to play around and play can be

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like really the fun play, uh, dancing, creating, but, you know, play around

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can be anything like if, as long as is there room for creativity and, um mm-hmm.

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I think you're, you're, you're saying it in a really structurized way.

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Really good.

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Like, um, we're, we're building a platform where we can also allow

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ourselves to discover stuff.

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You know, we're talking about nurturing your inner rebel, but how,

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I don't know how to nurture a rebel.

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To be honest.

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Do you know Lawrence?

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How do you nurture your inner level?

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Please tell me.

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That's why I'm coming.

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I'm selling this product and I need to know right now.

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So you guys

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knew you're the experts.

Speaker:

We do have a

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guide, but Yeah.

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But I, I like, I like the way you described it when we chat the

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other day about this is a quest.

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You're on a quest to understand this better.

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And by holding that space with others, you can co-create

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and work, work out solutions.

Speaker:

If there are

Speaker:

this is a perennial question for anyone we work with in terms of the balance

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between, um, giving birth to something creative that's yours, that's something

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that you wanted to, to bring to the world that you are, is connected to your

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own needs, your own values, something that is, um, close to your heart.

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And then there is.

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Making money or building a business or just funding something.

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Yeah, and just having the, having money to actually make it happen.

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Because at some level we need to pay suppliers, pay for venues, whatever.

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It's, and so on one hand, what I was hearing is like, well,

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we, we don't have a guarantee.

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We can't tell you what to do.

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We can't say this is going to happen, but what you can do is

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really state a clear intention.

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What you can do is share, where this is coming from at the personal

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level you can do is tell a story of your own change and your own wishes

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and what what it means for you.

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Like hearing you now has helped me understand more and more about why,

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what's motivating you to do this?

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Not only a personal story level, but even just what, how do I con, what is it about

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my own journey that's connecting to this?

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Mm-hmm.

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What is it that I want to get on board?

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What, what's, 'cause there is, there is a story of transformation that

Speaker:

I think you're talking about here.

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Whether it is going from, oh, it's just about taking it easy to being more punk.

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Or whether it's being very an ignited to, no, actually I need to pause.

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Like, yeah, I can feel that tension and I can connect to my own need

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to always be that, you know, I need to pause, but at the same time,

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I don't wanna just be passive.

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I wanna do something and then to be around other people.

Speaker:

So there's.

Speaker:

There's something here that is at some point, I think gets clear,

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but ultimately it's really about the story and the energy, and I

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think you used the word magic.

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It's hard to qualify quite yet.

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it's also really

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fun to use this word of magic because there's also, there's this, the,

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the beauty in the magic that there's always, if, if you put it into your uh,

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project, then you also allow yourself to see, and also kind of be curious,

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you know, there's a lot of curiosity in this, being rebellious also, like, you

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know, with the cur curiosity brings you further then there's no right, no wrong.

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There's just a result.

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What you might not really.

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Searching for.

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this is, this is what I love about creating this process.

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And, and yes.

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And in the end, it is necessary to also make business out of it

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because we still need to eat.

Speaker:

I tried sticks, but it doesn't work.

Speaker:

Mm-hmm.

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Uh, and, and, and, and I think this, uh, this is a beautiful project that we

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already, both having an art background, we know how hard it can be to earn

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money with more fluid, uh, process.

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But I, I, I also know that both have had, uh, businesses, so we know how

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to, to make this into something that's worthwhile, but also worth paying.

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Mm. And this is,

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this is the only thing that I recognize is it's for us also a

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bold movement to just try it again.

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And we haven't done a, this, this, this, uh.

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For at least, uh, 10 years.

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You know, it's 10 years ago that we tried another process.

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So it's, it's kind of fun to, to rethink how do I come up

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with a new product right now?

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How do I, I think it's coming up

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for me, hearing you talk is there's, 'cause I, I have a feeling like a lot of

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people sharing in the chat that it'll be great 'cause you guys are at the helm.

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I think the challenge feels like, working out what the story is and the story that

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connects with people and makes sense.

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And I promise that it doesn't deliver.

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And if it doesn't deliver on that promise, where, where does it leave you?

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So actually a, by doing it, you'll hear those stories back

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of what people got from it.

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But the other thing is, that's coming up for me is there's something about.

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I know as someone whose ideas are everything, like anyone who works is

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a knowledge worker or runs their own business, ultimately having space

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for your ideas is so important.

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And yet we don't do it enough.

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We're filling ourselves with stuff all the time.

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Information's being fed to us, we're listening to stuff.

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We're reading stuff.

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We're, you know, just, we don't have space to listen to what's in us.

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And so what I'm hearing from your work and from what's exciting me is

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this idea of getting more into your body, first and foremost by moving

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or playing or using our hands, um, or, or resting, but also creating

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space for that, those inner ideas.

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And maybe there, maybe there is a rebel within us that we haven't yet tapped into.

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' cause you've said I'm a rebel, but you, you've also said, I'm a hippie too, so

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I'm playing a bit of a role, but today I'm gonna be the punk, you know, so it's

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not, I'm that person all the time fully.

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Mm-hmm.

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there's different types of stories within you.

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Uh, so for most, maybe most people will recognize the, the teenage

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rebel that doesn't wanna do homework.

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' cause I met, I met her again during Phish 2020.

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She's like, no, well, homework sucks.

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Who, who are those guys that tell me what to do?

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I'm not gonna do homework.

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And then adults, Kara was like, yeah, but I signed up for

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this program, I wanna do this.

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Mm-hmm.

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But it took me four weeks to get into the mode of I'm actually

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going to do some homework.

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So, getting into a mindset of a, recognizing the rebel and what it wants

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to tell you, that's, uh, also a really good story that, that we're selling, I

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guess.

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Yeah.

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And I guess also like harvesting the energy of the rebel.

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So me, uh, um, more, I'm more from this like.

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Uh, a very energetic background.

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Also, like very, uh, uh, aggressive way of rebels for me.

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tying myself to trees, uh, uh, shouting at the police, sitting

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down, uh, uh, doing riots and stuff.

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Um, you know, in a way it's like really explosive and, uh, her and me were talking

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to each other, like, how does it work?

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Like if you've got a rebel and you recognize your rebel, how can you

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harvest the energy whilst not exploding?

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The, you know, this explosion energy makes a gap.

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You have to repair the road before you can make a fundamental for a new building.

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So explosion is not really something that we want anymore, but so,

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so there's this, this rebels.

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You can spark a rebel, but maybe you can also learn a little bit from this

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energy and tone it a little bit down so you can, uh, I dunno, progress a

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little bit longer on the same energy.

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And also, if you're right,

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makes it sustainable.

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Doesn't that It's sustain Sustainable.

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Sustainable, yes.

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More robust.

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Yes.

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And also a lot of people have this rebel energy already in them and try to change

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something in their, world around them.

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Can, can walk up the walls.

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I dunno if this is a English saying, but, uh, uh, so, sometimes you need to get

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back to like, what does this rebel need?

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And I think this is, how can we nurture this rebel and also make,

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make it sustainable for yourself and, and still love the rebel.

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Who wants to say, fuck you.

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I won't do what you tell me.

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Yes, please.

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I, I was thinking,

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I was thinking if, can I say this

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right here?

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Thank very much.

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I just did.

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You just did.

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exactly that.

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maybe taking it back to the idea of selling this idea.

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And when I think of selling, uh, it's not about convincing someone to do something.

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It's connecting with the people who are already wanting

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to do it in the first place.

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And, and the most important thing that I've, I've learned is to have

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a really clear story about that.

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What you guys are doing right now is this real sense of like, this is the

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kind of person, this is the kind of energy, this is the kind of place.

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And you're saying, oh, I don't really have a, dunno what the promise is.

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I dunno what we're trying, you're telling the story of the outcome

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you're trying to create already.

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And so having that, you know, and it's, it's the work in a sense is

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having that so clear and simply said.

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And then the other part of that is having that spread as far as possible, because

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it isn't about, all right, I wanna try and convince people around me to do this.

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It's like, where are all the people out there who really wanna do

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this, but just don't know where we're here, that we're here.

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Mm-hmm.

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And

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so this is kind of an invitation to anyone listening to this.

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Watching this now is like, if this, if you know that story, spread the story you

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be, you know, if it might not be for you, but it's, if you have a story that that

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can be shared to the, the right person who needs to be at this event can do it,

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then it's not allowed selling anymore.

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It's about, yes, I want to come and, okay, how much is it?

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Full stop.

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So we've got a couple of questions from, uh, from Tia.

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I'm curious to maybe look at these.

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Uh, so one question around, But, um, what does enough structure look like?

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I. This one.

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So when you are talking about this event, it brings up, well it makes me

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think of aptitude and how we host that.

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Carlos.

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You know, the retreat we run there is structure.

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It's much looser than the structure we have at summer camp.

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Summer camp is a lot more, uh, programs.

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We have talks, we have workshops, we have activities.

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Altitude is much more emergent in terms of what happens, what gets

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discussed, the conversations that happen, the, the sessions that get run.

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But there is a structure there.

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this is for, this is based on just purely what I've learned.

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I don't, I don't, I'm not saying I've read anything about this or researched

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this, but be purely from experience.

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My perspective on this is the more clear you are about the journey,

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the more clear you are about the outcome, the more structure you will

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put in is this, is this is this.

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You are going to follow this structure.

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And the more it's about people needing the guidance, needing a certain answer,

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the more structure you'll put in, the more it's about exploration, the more

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it's about people coming and contributing.

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The structure is less about what you do.

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The structure is more about how do we behave with each other?

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Mm-hmm.

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What

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is the cadence?

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Where do we turn up?

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How do we interact?

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To give people a sense of knowing where to be and when and when in that.

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And then creating a safe container or a clear, well safe in the sense

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of we know how we're all gonna behave here, but what happens in

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that container I have no control of, I'm not sure what's gonna happen.

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And so enough structure for me is about understanding who's gonna

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turn up and what is the intention.

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if I should answer this question, we have three topics.

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So it's reconnect, recharge, and reignite.

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So we have figured out some activities around those topics that people can do.

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Uh, mostly creative things like drawing, writing, singing, moving your body.

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dressing up slash making your own outfit kind of thing.

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because for us, a creative thing feels natural.

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So our structure is a, is one of creativity.

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and also what you just mentioned in the second part, it's an exploration.

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So it's about people coming together.

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And we have of course, a timing.

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We start on Saturday noon, and it'll end on Sunday at eight

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in the af in the evening.

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We start with becoming a group, and then we end with giving

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yourself back to yourself again and celebrate, uh, at sparkle and dance.

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Sparkle and, and dance is the end party of, uh, the closing party,

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sorry, of, uh, of the retreat.

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So by giving these topics, it might also emerge for you what, which part

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of your, your inner rebel needs to be.

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Giving some attention.

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So it might be the re-ignition, it might be the reconnection,

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it might be the re recharging.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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And also what I, I think, um, coming back on like how much

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structure do you wanna give?

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Uh, it depends also on what people are coming.

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So, right now we also have this in the program, magic moments.

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And that's actually, uh, something that is probably just figuring out what it wants

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to be, maybe just in front, because we figure out what kind of people are coming.

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But also during the program, because a lot of really interesting magical

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moments are actually not something that you can come up with in front.

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And, a magic moment could be a conversation at the dinner table.

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With somebody you don't know.

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much, that's also what you guys say about summer camp.

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It's not about the talks, but it's about the moments in between.

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It's maybe standing in line at the toilet and then having an insight and

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sharing it with the person behind you.

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So we also realize that that's the thing you can't control.

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so we're trying also to, to make enough, uh, we give enough structure

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for somebody who needs to know, like, okay, what kind of workshops can we get?

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Or what can, what can we come and do?

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But also there's in the program magic moments and, and that's, uh,

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something we want to emphasize, that you are on your own to create

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your, uh, your magic over there.

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And, and it's not something that you really have to do.

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We, we really think that's, that's already emerging on itself.

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So we're trying to, to figure out still the balance?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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To balance it out.

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Indeed.

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so there's a, as I was thinking is because part of this for me is

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creating safety for the right people.

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And there are some people who don't want structure.

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They want chaos.

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They want anarchy because they really love that space.

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And to other people, that is the worst thing ever.

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And then there's other people who really want a really rigid ba ba,

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ba. And so there's this real kind of, I think what I'm hearing is you're

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talking about paradox, you're talking about, and I hear that as nuance.

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It's like combination of the two, because you want safety as well as act ignition.

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Yeah.

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And, um, so, uh, Thea is also saying like, ma ma magic moments feel like

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living in and noticing through gratitude.

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Like, yeah.

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I think it's also something like understanding what people need to,

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what you need to give to people.

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So it's a lot about creating safe spaces and anarchy can be really,

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uh, cool, but also really violent for some people, as you're saying Carlos.

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And so it's not about, uh, creating as much diffusion for us, but,

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but still also within this anarch anarchy moments, you can create

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certain stability so people can.

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Recognize how they can move around.

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You know, it's like also recognition in how you can behave.

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Uh, giving some building, uh, blocks or stepping stones for

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people, uh, can be enough.

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So, uh, to make it a little bit more tangible, it's like, uh, creating, uh,

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uh, so coming to the rebel, a retreat or the anti retreat to say, to say properly,

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it's, it's like constantly changing.

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Mm-hmm.

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Um, it's like, uh, if you make up, like what, uh, make a, make a a button saying

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like, I'm, uh, I dunno a pirate right now.

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It could be a conversation starter, but it's also a stepping stone to how do

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you move around in the space, you know?

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And then it's not fully, uh, set how, what you, what you're gonna do.

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So, um, we're, we're, we're, we're figuring it out along

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the way and trying stuff.

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Well, the thing I love about this is it's for those that wanna.

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Feel like they're contributing, not just being passive.

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That's what I'm getting from it.

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It's like, choose your own adventure.

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You come along and this ties into all of your work, I think, in terms of this

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liminal space of you're in a space of not knowing, but through that you, you

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could potentially get more value because you're not just, you know, you're not

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just set, sat there passively consuming an experience, listening to talks all day.

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You are actually in it and, uh, moving through it.

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Yes.

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And I thi I also think it's really interesting that we,

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that we are capable persons.

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Everybody's capable of having very intelligent conversations and trusting on

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that is, and making space for that is, is something, uh, what we try to do as well.

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but that's just the talking 'cause we're gonna do a lot of doing.

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Yeah.

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We're actually not gonna talk.

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That's true.

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Okay.

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talking.

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If there's one thing I've

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learned about running events is.

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People think they want structure and then they get there and they, they

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want no structure as car approved when you signed up to Vision 2020.

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so there is something about, I think deep down, we all want space.

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We all want, we don't wanna be told where to be every minute

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to be programmed by the minute.

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We do wanna be able to just have a conversation and sit over

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dinner or move about without, you know, having to be somewhere.

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So there is that balance, I think, isn't there, giving people some certainty

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of what they might get from this experience, but also leaving lots of

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room for emergence in that process.

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Carlos, what are you taking away from this?

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Um, firstly, uh, I'm feeling jealous now because I can't come.

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That's what it's all about.

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Uh, yeah, I, I, I definitely value the, the intention of the space.

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I think it the, if I was going to sell the idea.

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Is is anyone who is on this transition and in a transition of wanting to be

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more creative, maybe they've lived a structured life, but they realize

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they wanna move into a new space.

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And I think about, in my case, the people I'm focused on,

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the, the midlife transition.

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You, you've lived life a certain way, now you wanna change it up, use all of that

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knowledge, but to do something different.

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But that means being creative, finding your inner rebel, finding a new way,

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a new path that breaks a system that you've been well, breaks away from a

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system that you're used to, but you're a bit scared, so you want to be around

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people who kind of feed that energy.

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Mm-hmm.

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Sounds like a great place to do.

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That sounds like the perfect place to, be your inner activist as well.

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Um, and I love the balance of energies that both of you and the honesty

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you're bringing to it as well.

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'cause I think that's, that's gonna be the key part.

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Of people connecting to this event is, is authentic.

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Mm-hmm.

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Uh, and that, that's what people are missing these days.

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Oh, I'm looking forward to looking back to this recording because I think

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the story is even more clear now, uh, that we had a really, nourishing

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conversation that you ask good questions.

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I think we gave good answers to, yeah.

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And also I hope, uh, the right people will find us, uh, and, and by, by this

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nice conversation we're adding to the ripple effect of getting the story out.

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Sometimes we can sound more clear and confident than we feel like we are.

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So yeah, I agree with that.

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Yba, how about you?

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Well, I, I still love it that we're, always fluidly figuring out what

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we're doing and that I still feel that there's lots, lots to learn.

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And that's a journey we started, uh, with a lot of adventures, moments in it.

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Um, I'm taking away that this is a beautiful story to unfold in front of us.

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And the great community as well.

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Happy startup also for you guys, so.

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Thanks for hosting us.

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Not a pleasure and

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supporting.

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We're very happy by the support of everybody.

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So

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so yeah, for me, I'm just excited about the work you're doing.

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Um, I'm doing this course at the moment with Brian, you know, the,

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the songwriter and he talks in that about artists being world makers, like

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creators of worlds and like we were talking about earlier, I just love the

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idea of the world that you're creating and it feels, exciting to be part of.

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I don't even know what I'm doing when I get there.

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So that's also a bit scary but exciting too.

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So there's an element of Jeopardy, which I think I. Creates that, that sparkle

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that you guys talk about so much.

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So thank you for your time.

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Thanks everyone for listening.

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All the engagement in the chat

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Thank you very much.

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Thanks guys.

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Have a good weekend guys.

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Take care.

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Nice one.

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Have a good one.

Show artwork for Happy MBA

About the Podcast

Happy MBA
Do what lights you up, not burns you out.
If you want to be the next Elon Musk look away now.

This podcast is for the new breed of entrepreneur that wants to make money, do good and be happy.

An antidote to 'business as usual'.

Hosted by Carlos Saba and Laurence McCahill, long-time friends and co-founders of The Happy Startup School, an alternative business school and thriving community of entrepreneurs.

Back in 2012 we believed there had to be a better way than this.

And so we set out on a mission to create a new story of entrepreneurship. One where happiness and purpose came before profits.

Over the last decade and more we've built up a tribe of practical dreamers, creative visionaries, changemakers and wisdom workers that are committed to making a positive dent in the world.

If you want to do business differently this podcast is for you.

We cover some of the big questions that people like us face:
- How do I find my purpose?
- Am I too old to reinvent myself?
- Will people care about my ideas?
- How do I balance meaning with money?
- How can I find more of my dream customers?
- How can I grow my business (without burning out)?
- How can I make my business more fun and energising?
- Should I just jack it all and get a job?

Tune in for insights, stories and laughs from two old school friends that became accidental entrepreneurs and built a global movement, one relationship at a time.